Schlep

The thick chunk of fecal matter that inexplicably remains stuck to the inside of one's thigh after a bad bout of diarrhea. Typically necessitates a shower, or, at the least, a new pair of underwear.

"You guys fuck or what, bro?"
"Fucking hell, man. She wanted to eat my ass, so I went to the bathroom to clean up. I used three rolls of paper, and as soon as I stood up, I felt a huge chunk of schlep down there."
"Hahaha, fuck man. What did you do?'
"I told her I was gay and left."

by David Acetay March 15, 2019

shlep

What an Irish countryman calls a "slap" or a "spank".

A good shlep is what he's aiming for!

by mikwok2k11lawd October 23, 2011

schlep rock

A schlep rock is someone who is posing as a person of power, but in reality has none. Often occurs with younger, naive smart-ass types.

"That John kid is such a dick. He thinks he's the shit, but he's just a fuckin' schlep rock."

by Anonymous April 14, 2003

shlep

Noun, Verb
sh-lep, shh-lepp
Noun-
1. the state of anything that shleps
2. a period of shlepping
3. fake death
4. eye rest
5. sleepy time
Verb- shlepping, shlept
1. to rest, nap, recover, sleep, cease being awake

I am majorly in need of shlep; I haven't shlept in days!

(noun) (verb)

by whyhellotherekiinka December 15, 2010

schlep

Someone that's really dumb and can't do anything right.

Why are you a schlep dave?

by idotMax August 10, 2021

schlep

A person who does a job they they are not qualified to do, although they pretend they are. They typically cause more damage than good.

When I had my stove fire, the real fireman must have been busy that day. The schleps they sent cut holes in the roof and flooded the place with water, ruining everything.

by dickfitzentite September 19, 2009

Schlep

A person who does the opposite of what they should or is being a huge douche, to the annoyance of those around them. An insult that is usually made between friends or to label a person a group of friends do not like.

That flid was such a schlep last night.

That schlep leaves his trash all over our place.

by SchlepMaster February 5, 2013