retirement

throwing away a machine or human after it is decided that they are so worn out or used up that there is no value left. the human gets a small pension that is not enough to live on, the machine is junked.

retirement like death comes to us all.

by knowman February 21, 2009

Anti-retirement home

Aka - the kid's grandparent's house, free babysitting, (even though you should really be paying them). They want to enjoy their retirement that they worked so hard for and planned for a long time, but now, they can't.

I know we have had a whole year to make other arrangements, but we can just bring the kids to the anti-retirement home everyday. I know they are retired, but It's free and I don't trust anyone else.

by Johnny Ock June 26, 2016

suspension without retirement

(self explanatory)

son: dad can you show me a bigbrain amongus reference
dad: sure you know about "suspension without retirement"?
son: wdym?
dad: what do people receive when they retire?
son: ...a pension?
dad: now you get it son?
son: omg thanks dad

(son plays amongus as red)

blue: i saw pink killed cyan in electrical and vented to medbay
red: sure he's suspension without retirement
blue: wdym red
red: what do people get when they retire?
black: kinda sus, at least he's just a kid
purple: yea let's vote him out

(red was not the impostor. 1 impostor remains.)

by bill cyperbunk April 7, 2021

retirement plan

A large caliber handgun kept by one who does not want to get old, so that he won't have to.

"What the Hell are you doing with a .50 Desert Eagle that you've never used?"

"That's just my retirement plan."

by [e-mail] March 7, 2009

retirement home

The deathbed of old people. They check in, they never check out. Before they finally draw their last breath, they are required to live a life of incredible dullness, due to health complications of old folks.

"I'm 60 years old, nothing to do here but to play checkers and eat old corn cobblers, because ham hurts my teeth and bread clogs my arteries."

Heartbeat monitor goes dead...

"Oh dang..."

by Chang Tan December 29, 2004

Redneck Retirement Plan

Regularly socking away money, not into any kind of savings plan, but into lottery tickets.

Alternately, into any kind of gambling.

Hopefully my Redneck Retirement Plan will pay off this week.

by high-tech redneck August 25, 2009

Stripper Retirement

Stripper Retirement; When a stripper reaches retirement age which, depending on her condition, can be anywhere after age 28 she will go out and get herself knocked up by the best, well meaning, horny, yet stupid man she can find. He will most likely have a solid job history, good income, and decent credit rating, but he will still be homely and stupid. After she pumps out her kid(s), she will leave the entertainment industry to sit at home, devour endless snacks, and collect child support checks and/or leach of any man stupid enough to support her. All this while she mostly ignores her kid(s) except to feed them grape drink or rice & beans. She will occasionally pawn them off on relatives, or send them out to play in traffic. They will forever be in and out of juvenile detention. This former stripper is set for the 18 years that her kid(s) allow her to suck child support out of her baby’s daddy. Years full of all day naps and useless daytime TV. She will be oblivious to the fact that in all likelihood she has created what will become more worthless, irresponsible, slovenly people who will do more to drain the economy than to support it.

Eventually, Helens boobs just got way too saggy and wrinkled for her to collect enough money to live from the desperate vatos at the titty bar, she finally found fat rich real estate broker to knock her up twice, pump out the two units in a row, and let her go into stripper retirement for the next 19 years. Too bad those kids will be eating beans and rice forever and grow up with daytime TV as the only parent.

by Williamsven February 20, 2009