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Ponce de Le-bóned

When you receive bogus directions from a person that claims to know shortcuts or doesn’t understand basic geography.

Derived from Ponce de León from the famous Spanish Explorer.
Example 1:
Why weren’t you at the party last night?

I received some bogus directions and ended up on what looked like the set of “Deliverance

Dude, you got Ponce de Le-bóned big time

Example 2:
Hey guys is that the Atlantic Ocean?

Ummm no I can see our hotel and I’m pretty sure we aren’t staying in Portugal. I’m also pretty sure the bridge we took an hour ago that took 3 minutes to cross isn’t trans-Atlantic.

Never get take directions from that guy. If you do you’re asking to be Ponce de Le-bóned
by Catman - 63 October 28, 2013
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Ponce-de-Leóned

A term using part of the name of famous Spanish conquistador, Juan Ponce de León, used to express a massive ass-whooping.

A much higher degree of being owned.
After landing on Tim's Park Place with a hotel on it, Mike rolls snake eyes next turn and lands on Boardwalk, which also has a hotel on it. He then needs to mortgage all his properties and goes bankrupt.
Mike: "Awe shit!"
Tim: "Dude, you just got Ponce-de-Leóned!"

While playing Halo 2 CTF on Xbox Live, Mike steals the other team's flag and makes it back to his base, only to find a member of the other team with the Energy Sword killing all of his team members. Mike sneaks up behind him, beats him down with the flag, and scores to win.
Mike: "Fuckin' Ponce-de-Leóned that bitch!"
by Ahmed the Vampire Slayer January 17, 2006
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driving the porcelain bus

Vomiting into a toilet -often violently and for an extended time- whilst holding its rim like a steering wheel.
Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, when asked at a press conference about his recent bout of food poisoning: "Yes, I was driving the porcelain bus half the night."
by Ozymoron October 2, 2009
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Porcelain Rodeo

A porcelain rodeo is when two people shit in one toilet at the same time. This is most commonly performed when one person sits normally on the toilet while the other sits on the first person's lap while facing them and shitting between the gap in the first person's legs.
Tony and Dustin always save time getting ready for work in the morning by having a porcelain rodeo: twice the shitting in half the time, only sightly more mess.
by Jankthetank March 12, 2020
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Porcelain Stainer

A greasy, fatty, offensive smelling bowell movement that leaves thick brown streaks on the sides of the toilet bowl. Hands on scrubbing is often needed to remove them from the porcelain.
Those two triple baconators on top of the twenty eight beers I drank last night made for one hell of a porcelain stainer this morning.
by SmashBurger March 4, 2011
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Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone

The act of clinging to a toilet basin throwing up violently after a heavy night of binge drinking.

So named after the fashion of sticking your head into the bowl and shouting the name of our Lord between spasms.
BLEURGH!!! Oh Jesus, BLEEEHHRRRK!!! Oh Lord, BLOOOORGH!!!! Aw Christ, HUUUUUEEEEEEERRRRGH!!!!! etc
by ..WiL May 24, 2005
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driving the porcelain bus

Spewing into the toilet. You are on your knees and your hands are on the bowl(steering wheel). People who drive the bus are usually drunk and drive it very cautiously, they hold onto the steering wheels firmlyx
Did you hear mum driving the porcelain bus last night? It kept me awake for hours! Dad said she was drinking spumante- i guess she got the desired result.
by timbo6969 January 3, 2017
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