Skip to main content

jerk off

fuck ima jerk offcock tonight 8====D*
by peterduck685 July 31, 2016
mugGet the jerk off mug.

Double suicide jerk off

When masturbating, scream “MUM!” “DAD!” And try to blow your load before they enter the room, if you don’t do it in time you have to actually hang yourself.
Police 1: “How’d he go?”
Police2: “He attempted a double suicide jerk off.... And failed”
by EynonC December 22, 2019
mugGet the Double suicide jerk off mug.

National Jerk Off Day

December 1st is a holiday for all the brave boys and men who fought through their urges throughout No Nut November! It’s a celebration of what they accomplished and what they will do during Destroy Dick December!
National Jerk Off Day is on December 1st! A celebration of what’s accomplished during No Nut November!!
by FlareHC October 18, 2019
mugGet the National Jerk Off Day mug.

No Jerk Off July

No Jerk Off July is July, but no jerking off. You can use other ways to shoot hot steaming cum all over your mechanical keyboard, just don't jerk off. Only real men can do this.
Obama: Ah yes, time to jerk off to Michelle's feet.

Tyrone: Hol' up. You can't jerk off, it's No Jerk Off July!

Obama: Ah, right, I'll just rape her instead.
by IJerkOffDuringJuly November 4, 2019
mugGet the No Jerk Off July mug.

jerk off

1. To masturbate by rubbing the penis, jack off.

2. To waste time in an annoying way. Goof off, jerk around, fart around.

3. A person who is distracted and wasting time. Also spelled: jerk-off

4. An insult: something you'd call a person, implying vaguely that the person is clueless or inferior.
"Joe jerks off two or three times a day."
"Last night, his girlfriend jerked him off in the car."

"Is our son jerking off again, when he ought to be doing his homework?" (Yeah, the old man meant "goofing off," but he said "jerking off." Heh heh.)

"Hey, jerk-off, quit watching the game and roll some dice."

"That jerk-off? He's a total douchebag."
by vanilla g-lotto December 21, 2004
mugGet the jerk off mug.

jerk off

to masturbate/ rub the penis in an up & down motion for minutes, then sperm comes out when you're finished.
good job killing your future children.
Logan:oh yea i jerk off to some hot as fuck Alexis Texas!
John:you're fucking disgusting!
Jack:says you! you screamed in class Ally sucked your dick so hard you started bleeding!
John: virgins..
by a wild bandaid May 8, 2017
mugGet the jerk off mug.

Jerk Off Condom

An off brand, damaged, or expired condom that you would not feel safe using for sex but could still be used to jerk off into.
Man: Did you bang Amie last night or what, dude?

Dude: Hell yeah, I tore that pussy up. I was all out of condoms though so I had to grab one from your drawer.

Man: Shit, you'd better buy that slut some plan B and get your dick tested...the only thing in that drawer were jerk off condoms.
by iandiablo April 1, 2011
mugGet the Jerk Off Condom mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email