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handling the merchandise

The act of masturbating in a grocery store while employing the merchandise to complete the act
"Clean up on aisle 3 in produce. Someone has been handling the merchandise and the avocados have been abused"
by von groovy September 15, 2019
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Napoleon Dynamite merchandise

A way to keep Napoleon Dynamite alive and get the last bits of money they can after the movie.
Look at all of that Napoleon Dynamite merchandise!They have Vote For Pedro shirts, poster books, folders...
by BarbaraFay August 15, 2006
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merchandise

Something someone buys from someone to look like yet another zombie off another person's name brand.
I like Minecraft SOOO MUCH! I event bought all the merchandise for it!

I'm starting this new club, actually. We even have plans on creating merchandise for it!
by Smith dux Wurd June 19, 2017
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The Merchandise

Any “juicy” parcels of real estate, usually on a female, but can refer to both genders.
Girl, protesting a guy’s trying to feel her up: “Hey! Who said you could sample The Merchandise?!???”
by QuacksO November 26, 2011
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Watch the Merchandise

What you say then someone touches you aggressively or without consent. Not necessarily in a sexual manner.
Cop~Come on buddy *grabs arm* You're going to do some time.
Suspect~Hey watch the merchandise!
by Miss Potato Head September 12, 2010
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Service Merchandise

A catalog retailer well known for its unique ordering process.

When you walked in you were given a slip of paper for which you would write down the catalog number for the item you wanted to purchase. When you were done walking around and writing down the numbers of what you wanted to buy and were ready to checkout you gave the cashier the slip, which would go back to the stock room and shortly afterward, your items were rolled out on a conveyor belt from the back. Service Merchandise also had a variety of self-serve products.

Service Merchandise was well known for its jewelery and electronics.

The chain went bankrupt in 2002. After re-emerging as an online retailer for a brief time, the name disappeared again in 2007.
"I got my watch and my TV from Service Merchandise about 15 years ago"
by Jon Revelle April 3, 2008
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moochandise

Refers to how the selfish-minded social spongers of the community arrogantly view/categorize any of their fellow townfolk who are gullible and/or soft-hearted enough to consistently fall for the leeches' "poor poor pitiful me" handout-requests.
It's okay to help out someone once in a while if he encounters honestly-unforeseen emergencies/setbacks that were genuinely beyond his control, but you need to be very careful that you don't just become moochandise whom every slacker in town comes running to every week for undeserved favors/assistance. Tip: To better determine if a blubberer's distress is da real McCoy or not, check da person's pockets for bottles of Cryagra; if you find some, show da dude da door ay-sap!
by QuacksO June 7, 2018
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