Fucked by the Long Shaft of the Law

The long shaft of the law is what you receive when you get caught slippin’ by the police.

It is unforgiving, punishing, vindictive, veiny, long, and you don’t get to say no to any inch of it.

Generally reserved for felonious felons that commit felonies.

The only way to assuredly avoid getting fucked by the Long Shaft of the Law is to never ever leave the safety of your constitutionally protected house, answer the door for, or talk to anybody.

by CurrentlyPooping September 4, 2021

Longshot

When your trying to name a replay on old fifa games of a halfway Line goal with wayne rooney and you try to name it Longshot but you accidentally write longsh*t

That was a mad Longshot from Wayne Rooney

by Long sloppy shot July 23, 2020

Edward Longshanks

Edward I (17 June 1239 – 7 July 1307), popularly known as Longshanks, thanks to Mel Gibson's "Braveheart". Longshanks achieved historical fame as the whitest brit to conquer the shit out of parts of Wales and almost succeeded in fucking everyone over in Scotland. But when that prick finally kicked the bucket his queer son Edward II took the throne and just took it right in the ass and failed to do anything to those lovable Scots. Longshanks reigned for a long ass time because he was an evil bastard and everyone knows those fucks live forever.

Edward Longshanks probably wanted to bang that French princess that his son didn't like because she didn't have a penis.

Even though you're the prince of darkness you're still no Longshanks.

by Cpt. JLP of the USSE October 16, 2008

Longshark

A four legged omnivore found only in Northern and Southern regions of Queensland. This amphibious creature is harmless and has limited defences to protect against other species. When excited it lets out a shrill call that sounds somewhat like a prepubescent male. The longshark species is asexual.

Crikey..I just saw a longshark!!!

by fitchylee1 December 28, 2010

Matt Longstaff

Matthew Phillip Longstaff is a well known gay fashion icon on the Isle of Man. He has designed many ranges that have been a success on the island itself and in mainland Britain. He is a party animal, and it is common knowledge that he has many active homoseuxal partners

Wow, did you see Matt Longstaffs new range? Its awesome!

by Ssoulle July 18, 2009

Longshot

When a man climaxes and fires his load several feet, typically on a woman's breast, face, eye, etc.

I can't believe he longshot me last night, my eye is still red.

by Grimm1313 November 3, 2012

longshotting

(verb)

1: Someone succeeding, despite all probable odds. Showing an impressive display of skill. Synonymous with "balling." (References the 1985 Marvel Comics character, Longshot, who briefly joined The Uncanny X-men)

Samuel was longshotting last night when he beat an entire team of prestige players all by himself in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.

Junot Diaz was longshotting in 2008 when he won the Pulitzer Prize in Fiction.

by greyghost1779 July 26, 2011