kabbalah

A once secretive, proud tradition that only the wisest Torah scholars could study, and for good reasons. The knowledge and understanding that Kaballah can bring has overwhelmed some the wisest scholars in Jewish history, driving them to the brink of madness. To study Kaballah, a man had to be AT LEAST 40 years old, and has to have grown a beard and raised a family, activities which require nearly infinite patience.

However, thanks to Madonna and other opportunists, Jewish mysticism has been degraded into a new fad that any putz with a red string on his wrist can claim to understand. Anybody who thinks that a red bracelet will make him wise or holy is delusional.

Famous Kabbalah masters have included Rabbi Loew, who constructed a living golem from clay to protect the jewish people, and Rabbi Akiva, who entered the Garden of Eden while still alive, learned its secrets, and lived to tell the tale.

by Taylor Esformes October 10, 2005

Flag

Get the kabbalah mug.

kabbash

(ka BOSH)
(v.) 1) To seal or close. 2) To put an end to or stop to; to finish.
(n.) A lid or seal; an end to an arguement or confrontation.

note: can also be spelled "kabosh," but in Dane Cook's stand-up skit "The Heckler and The Kabbash," it is spelled this way.

"I'm going to end this. I'm going to put the kabbash on this thing right now." (Dane Cook)

by bite_me123 January 17, 2008

Flag

Get the kabbash mug.

kabbalah

A set of beliefs based on mysticism brought to the forefront by a Jewish guy from Brooklyn who charges money for "enlightenment". One minute he's playing stickball with his buddies on Avenue C trying to figure out a good hustle the next minute he's the self-proclaimed Moses of Capitalism. Cha-ching. It's hard to believe that this guy is not a David Koresh-type con man because if he was a tool of the "creator" to spread "enlightenment" why would he charge money for it? I mean the guy sells his own bottled water, kind of like another egotistical jack-ass Donald Trump. I don't believe other prophets profited from their teachings. Furthermore the people who follow this guy could be classified as weak-minded and unstable with plenty of expendable income who need to be told that the are loved such as Madonna and that butter-face Lizzy Grubman.

con man = Michael Berg
stupid people w/ expendable income = sheep (see Madonna)
con man + sheep = Kabbalah
Kabbalah = con man w/ $$$$
con man w/ $$$$ = :) con man

by one person's opinion December 2, 2004

Flag