Hipsterpes

When you exchange fluids with a hipster, you run the serious risk of having hipsterpes. Unprotected sexual intercourse, unprotected sharing of a vegan meal, unprotected drinking in the same cup of tea, unprotected kissing or shaking of hands or any other exchange of fluids can lead to this serious disease. Some accounts of unprotected typing on the same 18th century typewriter have proven to be lethal. Don't risk it, if you spot a hipster, be safe and avoid all physical contact. If possible, you might want to report him or her to the local authorities to be taken care of or put down.

Symptoms may include some of the following: discomfort when eating meat, loss of fashion sense, growth of ironic facial hair, poetry, feeling of false superiority, loss of taste in music, non-prescription lenses, need to tell everyone how awesome you are, interest in self-help books, knitting, and many more. If in doubt, contact the nearest health center.

CHRIS: Hey bro, we are having Meat Monday at my place tonight! See you there!
SAM: Sorry dude, I had sex with this hipster chick yesterday... can't eat meat anymore for some reason.
CHRIS: You have hipsterpes! Don't touch me!
SAM: Besides... I have much better values than you, I buy all my clothes used, I practice yoga and I listen to The Shins!
*Chris calls the local authorities*

by MasterofAwesome January 11, 2011

hipsterlectual

Hipsters who are smart (or pretend to be)... usually a beard and thick frame glasses are essential to their uniform.

Beard, vest, thick frame glasses, tight jeans... you're a hipsterlectual.

by Occam.ek January 10, 2011

Hipsterpotomous

A HIPSTER with the weight capacity from 300 lbs. beyond. They still wear sweaters, scarves, and skinny jeans but they are usually in the XXXL and plus size range. HIPSTERPOTOMOUSES with poor or diabetic induced vision wear thick, rim glasses that are black or other colors and/or designs. They are usually rude and claim they know more than anyone. They listen to The Shins, Camera Obscura, Tegan and Sara, or anything that so obscure you've probably never heard of and denounce anything that's MAINSTREAM. Be it as it may, they are very eloquent and speak with ALMOST perfect diction. Hipsterpotomous women, also known as FATTY DECHENELLES, are known to be the most popular of the fat-chick universe followed behind Fat Goth Chicks and Twi-lards. HIPSTERPOTOMOUSES also have a better taste in cuisine than most other obese groups. For example: if a Hipsterpotomous has his usual hard craving for a pastry, he will shovel down a TERRA MISU instead of swallowing a whole box of Little Debby Oatmeal Pies.

ZOOEY: Hey, Carrie, look at that fat-man with the tight pants eating that Velvino Hordverve jamming to Arcade Fire.

CARRIE: That's no ordinary fat-man. That there be a HIPSTERPOTOMOUS.

by CORY C September 5, 2012

delusional hipsterity

The belief that wasted potential is more important than actual success.

Dude, you are suffering from some serious delusional hipsterity.

by laughingsquid March 22, 2011

hipsterati

a term derrived from literati, i.e. a person that uses his acumen to investigave deep issues of human existence. In this case, the hipsterati use their acumen (and we use this term lightly) to keep up on the pressing issues of the latests microtrends. They tend to move in "too-hip-for-thou" cliques and pass judgement on what is and isn't in.

-How was the show last night?
-It was amazing, but it was so crowded because the Hipsterati were out en masse!

by Carlos R June 11, 2006

hipsterception

The realization a hipster comes to when he/she realizes that being hipster is WAY to mainstream, resulting in a paradox.

"Dude, being a hipster is way to mainstream. A true hipster would have stopped being a hipster by now. It's like... hipsterception!"

by frankalator March 7, 2012

hipsterity

Hipsterity is the quality that true hipsters possess. A hipster has been defined to be one who rejects societal norms and "mainstream ideas." One who exhibits hipsterity most often dresses in a simple yet distinct manner, with plaid shirts and wide-rimmed glasses.

If college weren't so mainstream, I'd major in hipsterity.

by atlpride November 22, 2011