glutened

(verb, past tense)
When someone who has celiac disease, or is living a gluten free lifestyle, accidentally consumes any substance containing enough gluten to make them ill.

INT. LAB - AFTERNOON

Dr. Johnson, Dr. Rye, and Dr. Barleywheat are scientists in a lab, looking over a top secret laser project they are working on, when suddenly Dr. Johnson bends over in pain.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
What's wrong, Johnson? Johnson. Johnson!

Dr. Johnson does not respond, and sinks down to the floor.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
Doctor Rye, what's wrong with Doctor Johnson?

DR. RYE
I have no idea.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
What do you mean you haven't got any idea? Does she have any illnesses? Any medical concerns?

Dr. Johnson groans in pain on the ground.

DR. RYE
(frantically)
Illnesses? I don't know. I don't know!

Dr. Rye begins to hyperventilate. Dr. Barleywheat grabs Dr. Rye and slaps him twice across the face.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
Get yourself together, Doctor Rye! Think, damn it!

Dr. Rye's eyes widen.

DR. RYE
Oh wait! She told me a few weeks ago that she has some kind of
disease! Celiac disease!

Dr. Barleywheat rubs his chin in thought, then cocks his head suspiciously.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
So she's a celiac, heh? Say, Doctor Rye, what did you two have for
lunch today? Quick! Her life could depend on it!

DR. RYE
Sushi! We had sushi!

Dr. Barleywheat's eyes widen.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
Did you happen to have soy sauce with your sushi?

DR. RYE
Yes, why? What does that matter?

Dr. Barleywheat drops his head, then slowly looks up.

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
My God. It's just as I thought.

DR. RYE
What?! What is it?!

DR. BARLEYWHEAT
Somebody call a doctor. She's been glutened!

by READthatwordlouderdidyou? August 7, 2016

glutenized

Someone who goes to a restaurant, orders a gluten free hamburger & it comes out with a normal bun & eats it. Fuckkk! I've been glutenized!

I just ate that regular bun, now I'm glutenized!

by spartanprop October 4, 2017

Gluten

A fabrication made up by white people to feel special about themselves.

Hanna says she is allergic to gluten, even though such a thing was unheard of 5 years ago.

by TomServo98 September 29, 2020

Glutening

the act of being ill from eating gluten. It is common for individuals with celaic disease.

Emily is going to stay in tonight because she is glutening from the pizza we ate last night.

by gluten girl's friend June 10, 2011

GLUTEN

To be used as another word for Drama , Bullshit, Haters

I don't want any more Gluten in my life.

Have a Gluten Free day!!!

You have to get rid of the all the Gluten and life will be better.

by GINA FROM VA October 7, 2012

glutened

When someone who has an intolerance to gluten accidentally eats gluten without knowing and feels like shit afterwards

Damnit, I had dinner at a friends house and got glutened!

by Gluten cutter August 12, 2016

Gluten

This substance and or feeling when you wake up in the morning and your panties are stuck to you because you did not wipe away all of the nut from previous sexual encounter

Girl I was so hungover that when I woke up this morning my panties were gluten to me.me and my boyfriend got it on all night long and I guess I just didn't clean up all the way LOL

by JustnTime October 24, 2019