Extremely toxic poison that kills it's victims slowly and painfully if consumed. Avoid any physical contact. It is also advisable to avoid inhalation, as the smell of gluten has been reported to make you gain double your weight in fat in a matter of seconds. This poison is responsible for everything bad that has ever happened in this country.
Oh, no! There's a cat stuck on that tree! Poor thing, it must have been gluten.
by Sociopathic Anon May 24, 2017
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Woody: I'm not sure what gluten is? Is it in bread?
Taylor: Don't worry, no one is actually allergic to it.
by EndingDestiny March 26, 2015
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A fabrication made up by white people to feel special about themselves.
Hanna says she is allergic to gluten, even though such a thing was unheard of 5 years ago.
by TomServo98 September 29, 2020
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This substance and or feeling when you wake up in the morning and your panties are stuck to you because you did not wipe away all of the nut from previous sexual encounter
Girl I was so hungover that when I woke up this morning my panties were gluten to me.me and my boyfriend got it on all night long and I guess I just didn't clean up all the way LOL
by JustnTime October 24, 2019
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Every rich person is intolerant to this substance. You have to be rich to find out how exactly it affects its victims.
Duncan: Becky I can’t have that cake. I’m gluten intolerant.

About Duncan: he is a single man. Survives on a well paid job and usually hangs around in supermarket. Oh and he is allergic to gluten! Whatever that means to him
by Mazefactory January 03, 2018
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A protein that is found in cereal grains such as wheat, rye, barley, spelt, and kamut, but NOT in rice, quinoa, corn, buckwheat, or millet. It is a more common allergen than most people are aware of. The condition in which the body creates an immune response to products containing gluten is called Celiac disease.
My little bro is shitting blood because of that bowl of pasta you made him. I told you he's gluten sensitive, you douchebag!
by WILLERxKILLER July 08, 2006
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(verb, past tense)
When someone who has celiac disease, or is living a gluten free lifestyle, accidentally consumes any substance containing enough gluten to make them ill.

Dr. Johnson, Dr. Rye, and Dr. Barleywheat are scientists in a lab, looking over a top secret laser project they are working on, when suddenly Dr. Johnson bends over in pain.

What's wrong, Johnson? Johnson. Johnson!

Dr. Johnson does not respond, and sinks down to the floor.

Doctor Rye, what's wrong with Doctor Johnson?

I have no idea.

What do you mean you haven't got any idea? Does she have any illnesses? Any medical concerns?

Dr. Johnson groans in pain on the ground.

Illnesses? I don't know. I don't know!

Dr. Rye begins to hyperventilate. Dr. Barleywheat grabs Dr. Rye and slaps him twice across the face.

Get yourself together, Doctor Rye! Think, damn it!

Dr. Rye's eyes widen.

Oh wait! She told me a few weeks ago that she has some kind of
disease! Celiac disease!

Dr. Barleywheat rubs his chin in thought, then cocks his head suspiciously.

So she's a celiac, heh? Say, Doctor Rye, what did you two have for
lunch today? Quick! Her life could depend on it!

Sushi! We had sushi!

Dr. Barleywheat's eyes widen.

Did you happen to have soy sauce with your sushi?

Yes, why? What does that matter?

Dr. Barleywheat drops his head, then slowly looks up.

My God. It's just as I thought.

What?! What is it?!

Somebody call a doctor. She's been glutened!
by READthatwordlouderdidyou? March 08, 2016
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