There are many kinds of hipster ass thorns: the vegetarian, the vegan, the juice cleanse, the diet, the peanut allergy (I KNOW ITS NOT A CHOICE BUT SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY I DONT NEED TO HEAR ABOUT IT GOD YOURE WORSE THAN THE LACTOSE INTOLERANT GUY!)
However, the gluten douche is arguably the most prominent of the bunch. The gluten douche likes to bombard you with excuse me does this have gluten? Or just asking what’s in something even though gluten douche knows damn well that isn’t gluten free they just want you to list all the things in it so they can interject and tell you how fat and unhealthy you are for even breathing near gluten
However, the gluten douche is arguably the most prominent of the bunch. The gluten douche likes to bombard you with excuse me does this have gluten? Or just asking what’s in something even though gluten douche knows damn well that isn’t gluten free they just want you to list all the things in it so they can interject and tell you how fat and unhealthy you are for even breathing near gluten
Guy 1: “Oh god it’s the gluten douche.”
Guy 2: “ I swear to god if he asks about gluten one more time I’m gonna shove this ‘gluten packed high calorie’ pizza crust down his throat.”
Guy 1: “It’s like we get it you’re healthy shut up!”
Guy 2: “Right?”
Gluten douche: “excuse me, but is that gluten free?”
Guy 1: “you don’t like the crusts right?”
Guy 2: “ I swear to god if he asks about gluten one more time I’m gonna shove this ‘gluten packed high calorie’ pizza crust down his throat.”
Guy 1: “It’s like we get it you’re healthy shut up!”
Guy 2: “Right?”
Gluten douche: “excuse me, but is that gluten free?”
Guy 1: “you don’t like the crusts right?”
by I knew the whole time June 26, 2018
by Misosdaddy July 9, 2023