Cryptic metaphor

A line made famous by flash animation veteran, Egoraptor, in his spoof of the game Metal Gear Solid, "Metal Gear Awesome". This is uttered aloud, by Vulcan Raven, referring to the fact that Snakes have no arms, and since Revolver Ocelot gets his arm cut off, it symbolses that he is going to be the next snake, making a cryptic metaphor. This exclamation can also be used by standing silently behind a complete stranger and pointing at them, and waiting for them to turn around, and when they do, shouting "CRYPTIC METAPHOR." And walking away without further comment.

1. Snake: Oh, gee whiz, I hope a tank isn't gonna totally come outta nowhere and OWN me.

*tank shoots snake*

Snake: YOU KNOW... SERIOUSLY... I'M GETTING A LITTLE FUCKING PISSED OFF!!!

Meryl: Hey, Snake, a tank is gonna totally...

Snake: SHUT UP!!

Raven: CRYPTIC METAPHOR.

Snake: Do you seriously think this is fucking fair?

Raven: ...Just throw grenades at me.

Snake: Oh.

*explosion*

Snake: Awsum!

Raven *laughs* I gave him more than a raven could hunt for in the night.

Ocelot: What?!

Raven: The snake prowls feircely, but cannot scratch his back, for as the sioux people are aware of, snakes have no arms with which to scratch their back.

Ocelot: ...Shut up.

Raven: The Raven on my head thirsts for his blood!

Raven's tattoo: DAMN RIGHT, NIGGA, mm-MM!!

2. Mungo: So what are you doing this weekend?

Zodiac: CRYPTIC METAPHOR!!!

Mungo: Cheapass! You did that last week!

by Dr. Zodiac October 25, 2009

crypto bro

A young man on twitter who is an absolute hype beast for crypto-currencies and makes long term predictions, often backed by memed and self-fulfilling financial charts.

crypto bro: Dudes buy $WAX it's going to moon tonight, +50% easily insert hamster on rocket gif

by BitLord April 21, 2018

Cryptid

An obscure, undocumented creature typically originating from folklore . Typically mythological in nature, but not necessarily supernatural , their existence is only recognized as pseudoscience .

Dude, have you seen the Fresno nightcrawlers? Cryptids freak me out.

by PSUEDONAME July 3, 2018

crypto-fascist

Although used on previous occasions by great scholars, such as on the TV debate between Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley, when Vidal accused Buckley of being a 'crypto-fascist', this term was made a popular insult amongst geeks by the BBC sitcom Red Dwarf.

A crypto-fascist is a 'hidden' supporter of fascism. It is only truly applicable to individuals, as by definition a mass movement of crypto-fascism ceases to be cryptological. That is to say, a crypto-fascist has ideologically totalitarian views, but has not yet found a movement which sufficiently reflects these views, and thus remains 'hidden'.

Young Lister: But I'm not into dosh, I hate money, I loathe possessions, It's just so... crypto-fascist.
Lister: Will you stop saying everything's crypto-fascist? You make me sound like I was a complete git!

by esterbuan tuero May 7, 2005

crypto-lesbian

A lesbian who decided to keep her coming out strictly for herself and her intimates. Social conformity is not the only reason for the crypto-lesbian option. The thrill of dissimulating one's real nature to the social milieu can be a major incentive for such an option as well. Very often a crypto-lesbian is actually a discrete bisexual.

Daphne DuMaurier was a crypto lesbian.

by Ysengrim January 2, 2004

Smoking crypto

A process in which an individual extracts cryptocurrency from the internet and smokes it, in order to get high.

Did you hear that Balboni has been acting crazy lately? I think he started smoking crypto again.

by Bollicks July 18, 2023

crypto-bestiality

Sexual encounters between humans and mythological creatures, i.e. dragons, unicorns, manticores, basilisks, homunculuses

1. Darren has just decided to leave his boyfriend for a unicorn. He has renounced humanity for crypto-bestiality.

2. Knock off that crypto-bestiality and finish your homework!

by magicalunicornfucker December 7, 2009