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condiment king

one who hoards free ketchup packets, mustard packets, relish, salt, pepper, sugar, and so on. occasionally has tons of free napkins as well.
person 1: hey, you wanna see something?
person 2: uhh, sure i guess.
*pulls out drawer filled with assorted condiments*
person 1: CALL ME THE CONDIMENT KING!
by Organplayerdoner December 26, 2011
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Condiment Salad

When a person who is cheap makes a "free" salad from the fixings bar at a burger restaurant. They will pile shredded lettuce with onions, tomatoes and whatever else is available on the bar.

They will make their own salad dressing by mixing ketchup with mayonnaise and relish.

The condiment salad is usually made on a hamburger wrapper or basket liner.

The condiment salad goes well with Jewish lemonade and is popular with the mature Florida set.

Family members are generally horrified by the actions and tend to sit on the other side of the room away from them.
Mom, tell me you aren't going to cheap out and make a condiment salad to go with your jewish lemonade and pay nothing.
by Patty B Wyte September 3, 2019
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Condifent

(adj) Arrogant, yet stupid.

Noun version - condifence
Michele Bachmann displays a high level of condifence.

Law school gunners are typically very condifent individuals.
by icemonk April 19, 2011
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sleeping condiments

Anything you sleep with or need to get to sleep. i.e.: Pillows, blankets, lingerie, teddy bears, blow up dolls, or blow up mattresses.
Don't forget to bring your sleeping condiments when you come for the fourth.
by MamaPea July 8, 2017
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Condimental Divide

When you and your romantic partner, spouse, family member, or friend share opposing, strong opinions about a specific condiment, such as ketchup/catsup or mayonnaise.
-As coined by Mark Garrison on the podcast "The Sporkful".
Person 1: "You like Miracle Whip? Gross!"
Person 2: "No, mayo is gross; Miracle Whip is good."
Person 1: "We can't hang out anymore. I can't get over the Condimental Divide."

Person 1: "I dumped my girlfriend because she put ketchup on her hot dog. That's just WRONG!"
Person 2: "Another relationship destroyed by the Condimental Divide."
by JRadimus April 10, 2011
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condoments

Sometimes referred to as flavoured lubricants, condoments are designed to add a twist to sex play. Many condoments are marketed as "low calorie" and "sugar free" and come in a variety of flavours or additives to increase or decrease sensation during sexual activities.

Condoments can make oral sex more pleasant, especially when using condoms which can leave a bad taste in one's mouth. It is important to note that if using latex prophylactics, oil-based condoments can cause a regular latex condom to break so be certain that the condoment of choice is water based.
Samantha: "My boyfriend always expects blowjobs and I want to make him feel good, but I just don't like the taste..."

Tracy: "I've got a bunch of condoments, you can have my bottle of vanilla bliss if you want, I only use the wet watermelon one..."
by Sunshyne Lollipops February 3, 2010
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condesending

to talk down to.
My father is very condesending towards me.
by CJayyyyyyyyyadlfakj February 26, 2011
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