ukranian purple tortoise

a sexual act involving a midget, Halloween decorations, baby oil, and a large sponge

Man, I would give that chick a "ukranian purple tortoise" any day, but i can't because her boobs are the same size.

by spoon on my nips March 9, 2009

Ukranian combat boots

Classic adidas shoes with three stripes. Usually black or navy blue. As seen worn by volunteer fighters on both sides of the Ukraine front.

I see you're rockin those Ukranian combat boots today.

by Cpt. Nemo March 17, 2019

Ukranian Sauna

When your Ukranian roommate takes a two hour shit in the shared bathroom using no less than half a roll of toilet paper - complete with grunting noises - then closes the door when he exits because he is afraid of the smell. However, contrary to his efforts to decrease the smell of ambient shit, the bathroom becomes an olfactory cesspool.

I couldn't even shower this morning due to Roman's Ukranian Sauna. Oh yeah, and we need more toilet paper.

by Del Playa Gauchos June 29, 2009

Ukranian Shish kabob

When a guy with a really long and skinny dick, spears fresh fruit, and has his bitch eat it.

Pat bought some pomegranite and kiwi, made a Ukranian Shish Kabob, and had jenny eat it.

by Ukey Joe September 8, 2009

Ukranian Pirate

A situation that occurs when, while performing fairly vigorous oral sex, the penis is misdirected and pokes the performer in the eye, possibly resulting in the need for an eye patch.

George: "Dude, what happened to Sheila's eye?! She's wearing an eye patch!"

Ivan: "She was blowin Sergei in the back of a Buick and he gave her a Ukranian Pirate."

by witchdr1 June 30, 2010

Ukranian Pig Roast

It's when someone (guy or girl) gets double-penetrated by two guys with Eastern European names. This probably happens more in porn than in real life, but some of you may have more exciting sexual encounters than I do.

Dude, last night my buddy Alexei and I gave this girl a ukranian pig roast. It was hot as hell.

by goonwithspoon July 10, 2010

Ukranian Dessert

The Ukranian Dessert is when a single man is having sex with a married woman while the approving husband sleeps in the bed beside the couple. The man proceeds to place the married woman's face in his armpit, keeping his eyes fixated on the husband (his true love) until climax.

Went to my neighbor's house last night and had the best Ukranian Dessert! But I can't help but feel dirty.

by YonkersSmurf July 26, 2011