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Topical Wank

Pastime carried out by females or males of the general public and or celebrities. The act of masturbation by a man or a woman thinking of a subject or persons being "topical"/ current i.e. in the news and or media at the time of the masturbation/wank act.
during the Wimbledon tennis tournament (2week period), if wanking in the morning, one might say:
"i woke up this morning and had a topical wank whilst thinking of Serena Williams nailing Tsvetana Pironkova with a strap on cock in a lesbian love fest.

"i bashed one out last night during the news to that Russian spy Anna Chapman. It was a deeply satisfying topical wank".
by Unknown Minman July 12, 2010
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right-on-topical

As coined by comedian, Daniel Tosh, to take a "right-on-topical" is to lead a conversation so the listener thinks it's going in one direction, and then switching it at the last second. This term can also apply to plot twists.
Did you see Shutter Island? I thought I had it figured out until the very end when the plot took a right-on-topical.
by Badgergirl77 October 13, 2010
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Related Words

Topix 'Judge It' Wuss

One who cannot stand up to a debate against an intellectually superior person when posting on the Topix website (www.topix.com) and anonymously uses the "Judge It" buttons instead. A chronic case would involve cyberstalking this person and judging every comment with the same icons regardless of the content being judged.
It became obviously to me after seeing the consistent "Judge Icons" being attached to my comments that I had attracted the attention of another loser Topix 'Judge It' Wuss.
by RM in AZ October 30, 2008
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topiana

twenty one pilots x ariana grande. if you are a fan of ariana grande and twenty one pilots then you are a topiana stan. started by miss chanel.
what’s a topiana? topiana is tøp and ariana grande.

the only topiana content we’ll ever get is that video of ariana singing along to Ride.

topiana stans are the only ones who have rights.
by cutiepie1 November 21, 2018
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pubic topiary

The act of grooming a lady garden into a more manageable and attractive state.
I say, young lady, with such a profusion of spiders legs I think you require an intensive session of pubic topiary !
by Andrew Nicholson November 23, 2004
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topixploitation

The exploxploitation of topix.com to spread local rumors about people. Shockingly popular with topix users.
A typical topixploitation:

lolz: I heard the mayor's daughter has a blue waffle vag. She has no mother figure so she doesn't know how to keep herself clean.

wtf: OMG I must tell everybody in in this podunk town via the topix forum!
by topixploiter August 9, 2012
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topiarist

A sculptor of topiaries who can also cut nigger's hair.
Damn,Daekwon! That is one fly haircut!! Did you just come from the topiarist?
by wolfbait51 May 29, 2011
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