TONS

A sarcastic expression used most often in answer to an inquiry or question to signal that you won't even dignify the question with a real answer.

Yeah, right.

Good one!

Caleb: "Hey, Jack, you good to hang this weekend? Or you gonna be busy working on your flower beds still?
Jack: "TONS, pal."

by Trevor Homehead November 1, 2019

Ton

The Ton is an absolute scale from 1-10 where 1 is the objective, absolute lowest quality representation of the item or work under critique and 10 is the objective, absolute highest quality representation of the item or work under critique. Therefore, a 5 represents the objective, absolute average quality representation of the item or work under critique. Only alumni, past and present, of the “Tonmeister” course are qualified under legislation to assess an item or work using the Ton unit of measurement.

Russell: What do you think of 1176s?
Alan: Tbh mate they’re kinda mid, 4 tons.

by Actually Jesus November 18, 2022

not a ton

something that someone might say weights a ton but really doesn't
or to be something that someone says is a weighty subject but really has no merit

I thought it weighed a lot but it turned out to be not a ton.

by Mr. Boardwalk July 11, 2010

ton

The Ton is the village of Tongwynlais, a few miles north of Cardiff, Wales

Question: "where d'yuh live?"
Answer: "In the Ton"

by urbane gorilla July 29, 2005

ton

"the ton" A speed of 100mph.

John nearly did the ton on the way to work.

by Anonymus Bosch September 30, 2005

ton

used excessively in the online poker community, meaning many, lots of, several, countless, etc etc (insert any synonym of your choice)

Fish: I was like so crushed in that hand!
Shark: No, you actually had a ton of outs!

Shark: Watching those poker videos has helped me a ton!

Shark: You don't have a ton of equity with 98s you fish!

by minraiselol June 29, 2011

Ton

Cockney background (Way of speaking in London), Means One Hundred GBP (pounds)

"Oi mate, lend us a ton"

by Lissy November 1, 2004