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messy tophat

When one uses a wool hat as a masturbation aid and, upon being walked in on, places said hat up on their head.
Did you hear about Greg? His mom almost caught him jerking off and he had to pull a messy tophat!
by notnops January 16, 2008
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Toledo Tophat

The act of taking a dump in the hat of someone you don't like. Peferably done when they aren't looking and in a hat that will hold onto the contents until the person dumps it on their head.
Jonathan thinks he's such a badass, but he's getting a Toledo Tophat when he puts on his baseball cap.
by The Viceroy October 4, 2005
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Beijing Tophat

The sexual act of shitting into a garbage bag, placing it in a hole for several months, excavating it, then dumping it on your partners head, whilst performing oral sex.
Dude, your girlfriend smells really bad today. Yeah I brought the old Beijing Tophat out last night.
by Curry Sanchez June 30, 2010
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Fleshy Tophat

A fleshy tophat is the part of the penis that would normally be cut off during circumcision.
J: man I'm kind of embarrassed of my penis because I'm not circumcized

M: what no way bro you got the dopest dick around carrying that fleshy tophat
by ThemagJSAR July 5, 2023
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cat's tophat

the opposite of the cat's pajamas. It means uncool, or stupid.
Nate: Woah, look how ugly that car is!

Amanda: Yeah man, it's totally the cat's tophat.
by ALynnJ42 July 15, 2009
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messy tophat

a sex act in which a guy gets certain bodily fluids spit up on his hair like shampoo
Man! That guy is so crazy, I hear he likes messy tophats!!!!
by notnops January 15, 2008
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