spitch

A person who has the option of going out with friends but instead makes the bizarre yet conscious decision to remain indoors for the night to indulge in activities involving sweatpants, Funyuns, a High Definition television or all three simultaneously. Many times the subject cannot establish a decent justification for his or her actions (ie. citing poor weather conditions) and instead fumbles with their words and mannerisms, often speaking in senseless sentence fragments and avoiding eye contact entirely. Attempts at pleading with them to “just come” and/or “stop being gay” somehow exponentially worsen the situation and furthers the individual’s unresponsiveness.
Person A: Why the heck aren’t you guys dressed? Everyone’s leaving in 5 minutes.
Person B: Huh? I don’t even… how come when… just chill. (rips open Funyuns bag)
Person C: This movie has Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac in it so like… (kicks off shoes)
Person D: Freezing outside… (whips out penis)
Person A: You're all textbook spitches and I don’t even know why we’re friends.
by NotSully April 18, 2010
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spitch

the combanation of spick and bitch
Hey, that girl over there just knocked my books down for no reason... SPITCH...
by strawberrysnapplesnapp May 26, 2010
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spitch

the combination of making a speech while bitching.
Shanda sat at the table and began to spitch about men.
by FartMastuhFlash June 13, 2020
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spitch

A bitch who spits when she talks.
Susan: Wow, that girl is so mean. And she spits when she talks!
Nelly: What a spitch!
by suchabamf March 26, 2010
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spitch

After i came in that girls throat, she spit spitch all down her tits.
by Charlie Crenshaw October 06, 2007
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spitching

Is when people from wherever come and dig through your garbage or trash or go to a dump and pick up used items that are old and beyond repair.
Me and my buddy went spitching for a new washer and dryer.
by Anders1 May 07, 2007
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spitch

A unit of measurement, more than a table spoon - less than a 1/4 cup.
You want some milk in your coffee? Yeah, just a spitch.
by Robby7 July 15, 2006
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