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The Mary Simpkins

A church going person who lies and spreads rumors. Elderly washed up has been or ratchet.
A jump off, bigot, or person who enjoys drama
Oh bitch, you just pulled The Mary Simpkins on her ass!
by South of 0 July 11, 2019
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simpkin

The Anglo-Indian word for champagne, coined in the 1800s.

Also spelled “simkin”.
James: Let’s open a bottle of simpkin to celebrate!
Harry: A bottle of what?
James: It’s a bottle of champagne. Have you never read the Century Dictionary first published in 1889?
Harry: The what?
James: Never mind.
by wordchest May 1, 2020
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simpkin

easy to understand or deal with

synonyms:simple
Eugene is such a noob in madden. Beating him was simpkin.
by bazeballboy5757 October 11, 2008
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The secluded, only all-male dorm at the University of Texas. It houses about 200 men and resides in the Northeast edge of campus. It was formerly known as Simkins until 2010, when the board discovered that the man was an avid member of the KKK. Most of the residents hate themselves for waiting until mid-May to apply for housing once they arrive on campus. Several residents were forced to live here by their moms because it's not co-ed, and therefore the only "conservative" dorm at UT. This dorm is a sick joke and blows for many different reasons:

1) There are two dining centers on campus and Creekside is equidistant from both. A 10-minute walk up-hill.
2) There are no other dorms by Creekside; the only things close by are a museum and a parking garage.
3) There are off-campus hoodlums that come by at night and cut bike-locks to steal our means of transportation.
4) There are these fucking gnats that occupy a space above the sidewalk to Jester everyday.
5) The immense amounts of pubic hair that get piled on the shower floors.
6) The builders conveniently placed the door hinges for the closet on the wrong side. You have to cram against your drawer just to open the door.

The good things:
1)Its close to a nine-hole municipal golf-course.
2) There's an xbox and a broken 52-inch TV upstairs.
3) There's always a game of Dungeons and Dragons going on in the entertainment room. Cheez-its all-around.
4) There's a group of guys that sometimes smoke a hookah outside at night.
(person #1) "Yo dawg, look at those two losers bouncing a basketball to each other on the sidewalk."

(person #2) "Oh yah man that's Creekside Dormitory (formerly known as Simkins), the shittiest dorm at UT. Only losers stay there."

(person #1) "Oh shit. That blows."

Example #2
(person #1) "Hi my name is so-and-so."

(person #2) "Nice to meet you, my name's so-and-so. I live in Jester...it sucks. Where do you live?"

(person #1) "Oh ok Jester's not that bad. I live in Creekside."

(person #2) "Never heard of it."

(person #1) "It used to be named after a guy named Simkins. He was in the KKK."

Example #3 (60 years ago)

(person #1) "Yo dumbass, you put the door hinges on the wrong side of the closet."

(person #2) "Oh shit...well, it don't matter. It's Simkins."

(person #1) "Oh ya. That's true."
by JFR-Resident of Creekside September 7, 2010
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Richard Simpkin

British tank officer. Known for his theoretical work on manouevre warfare and expertise on russian langauge. Wrote many books about Sovjet manouevre theory. Translated works from M.N Tukhachevskij and parts from Field Manual 36 (PU-36) in his book Deep Battle.
Person 1. "According to Richard Simpkin soviet manouevre warfare consists of a turning force which interacts with holding force who simultanously engage the enemy over his entire depth and break down his defences".
Person 2. "Im not shitting you man. You will NEVER EVER get laid."
by Hamza April 25, 2006
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simkins

one who has the biggest penis in the whole world and will fuck your brains out with his massive dong.
whoooo that simkins is bigger than a tree
by simnrl333 November 3, 2009
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Doing a Simpkin

When you tell a really shit joke, do a stupid dance, or just be a general twat, then your doing a Simpkin
Oh God, Dave's doing a Simpkin on us.
by Vortex April 3, 2004
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