I shit you not

When you say something unbelievable but true.

Josh: Did you know that Bernard proposed to Kayla?
James: No way, they only met a week ago.
Josh: I shit you not, they're engaged!

by vejtics May 4, 2019

I shit you not

The expression means I am being honest.

john:I just saw Barbra Bush running naked on T.V
Lou: No fucking way
John: I shit you not

by B-dub (refers to my age) November 18, 2005

I Shit You Not

When some one tells the truth about something usually unbeleivable.

guy 1 - i just laid your mom

guy 2 - wtf!! seriously?

guy 1 - i shit you not my friend...

by Zael Yagami April 29, 2009

I shit you not

A phrase typically, but not always, used in conversation; can also be used in response to a fact, or its opposite, in media; the appropriate response to any sentence including any variation of the descriptor 'bullshit', when the word 'shit' is being used as a verb, and the preceding perceived assertion or premise reflects a known truth or fact. Also used as its reverse as a prank, to generate belief in something patently false and normally unbelievable.

You: Idaho is a state in the USA? You're shitting me!

Them: I shit you not! It's a state!

You: I thought it was an invention of the corn industry.

Them: You're shitting me.

You: I shit you not! ... yeah, I'm shitting you, you numbfuck.

by Omniv0r March 10, 2022

you shit yourself

You shit yourself - When someone excretes faeces on and around their body. Often happens during the consumption of alocoholic beverages such as cinder. This results in the loss of control of the sphinter muscles in the anus.

When DD shit himself in the famous 'DD shit himself' incident. (you shit yourself)

by john joe bonner May 22, 2006

I shit you not one cent

used to state that a story is 100% true, no matter now insane, silly, or crazy it sounds, "one cent" is the part stating that not even 1% of this story is fake

"i shit you not one cent, the tiger did a backflip" roger said to george

by Insert inside joke here July 13, 2022

fuck shit you

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by anonymous March 15, 2021