To be rectally infused with the
bodily fluids of a hairy peasant that will
proceed to have a spontaneous erotic
intercourse with anyone on sight without
verifying consent.
bodily fluids of a hairy peasant that will
proceed to have a spontaneous erotic
intercourse with anyone on sight without
verifying consent.
I Rasputined your mom last night.
by ProxyFoxy January 11, 2017
Get the Rasputined mug.Born in 1869 as a peasant in Russia, this man had a serious sexual appetite which he exploited to its limits. Based on some of his preserved remains in a Russian museum, he had a 13-inch long penis, and legend has it that he used special powers to fuck over 100,000 women, including the Tzar's wife, the Tzar's four daughters, the Tzar's chambermaids, and the servant-girls in the Tzar's palace. That or he just pulled his pants down in their presence.
Rasputin started out as an alcoholic womanizer and joined a variation of Russian Orthodoxy called Skopsty, which is founded on the belief that the only way to reach God is through sin. when Rasputin finally became a monk, he travelled a lot, fucking to his heart's content, and tales of his travels and the supposed "magical healing powers" that the monk attained reached the ears of Tzar Nicholas II, whose son was ailing with hemophilia. Rasputin somehow managed to heal the boy and became an important person in the Tzars house. However, the Tzar's relatives were not too happy about the monk fucking their women with his 13-inch cock on a daily basis, so they conspired to kill him.
One night, Rasputin was invited by the conspirators to dinner. Everything was all planned out that night. He was supposed to drink the poisoned wine and eat the poisoned food and die. But that was not the case, because the Tzar's relatives saw in shock as the monk ate and drank enough poison to kill 6 people, and didn't seem to show any symptoms at all. So, they switched to plan B. They shot him, and found out that it didn't kill him. They kicked the crap out of him and saw that he was still twitching. They cut his dick off, and saw that it didn't work. They stabbed him repeatedly, but HE STILL DIDN'T DIE. So they finally wrapped up Rasputin's broken, breathing body and threw it into a river, where he finally died after several hours.
Unfortunately for the Tzar's family, they were assassinated four months later, ending the Romanov family line permanently.
Rasputin can also sometimes be used as a slang word for a big penis.
Rasputin started out as an alcoholic womanizer and joined a variation of Russian Orthodoxy called Skopsty, which is founded on the belief that the only way to reach God is through sin. when Rasputin finally became a monk, he travelled a lot, fucking to his heart's content, and tales of his travels and the supposed "magical healing powers" that the monk attained reached the ears of Tzar Nicholas II, whose son was ailing with hemophilia. Rasputin somehow managed to heal the boy and became an important person in the Tzars house. However, the Tzar's relatives were not too happy about the monk fucking their women with his 13-inch cock on a daily basis, so they conspired to kill him.
One night, Rasputin was invited by the conspirators to dinner. Everything was all planned out that night. He was supposed to drink the poisoned wine and eat the poisoned food and die. But that was not the case, because the Tzar's relatives saw in shock as the monk ate and drank enough poison to kill 6 people, and didn't seem to show any symptoms at all. So, they switched to plan B. They shot him, and found out that it didn't kill him. They kicked the crap out of him and saw that he was still twitching. They cut his dick off, and saw that it didn't work. They stabbed him repeatedly, but HE STILL DIDN'T DIE. So they finally wrapped up Rasputin's broken, breathing body and threw it into a river, where he finally died after several hours.
Unfortunately for the Tzar's family, they were assassinated four months later, ending the Romanov family line permanently.
Rasputin can also sometimes be used as a slang word for a big penis.
by urban pervert May 15, 2004
Get the Rasputin mug.by applesandgrapes October 22, 2017
Get the Ra Ra Rasputin mug.charismatic Russian "holy man" and cult leader, used his influence and charm to seduce women and clergy, and eventually the tsar and tsarina of Russia. used his mysterious skills to cure the Russian prince of hemophillia attacks, predict the future, and build up a faithful following of aristocratic ladies. was eventually killed by Prince Felix Felixovitch Yussupov after being poisoned with enough cyadide to kill six men, shot in the chest, beaten, stabbed, and thrown in the icy Volga.
by dagger_grrl November 2, 2003
Get the rasputin mug.When a guy poison, stabs, shoots a girl, ties her up in a burlap sack, throws her in a river and if she survives, he jizzes in her ear. That's the surprise.
by Gloria Knowy December 26, 2007
Get the rasputin's surprise mug.1. The "starets" who helped bring down the Russian monarchy through his poor advice to Empress Alexandra when the reigns of the government were in her hands.
Rp1: What's up with the new minister that was just appointed?
Rp2: He's no good. The only reason he's there is that he supports Tsar Rasputin.
Rp2: He's no good. The only reason he's there is that he supports Tsar Rasputin.
by Comtesse du Barry August 5, 2018
Get the Rasputin mug.The most mystical beard of them of. Dr. Kryptonite discovered it in the the late 17th century. He hoarded it for many years. Papa J discovered it and has used to enslave and persecute his minions. It is said that those who possess this beard, will rule. There can only be lord or the rasputin. You will the very best like no one ever was!
Fredo: "Oh man this beard looks so stupid."
Dingo: "What are you saying? This is the most powerful beard of all! It's The Beard Of Rasputin!"
Fread: "What??"
Dingo: "I shall enslave you!!!"
Dingo: "What are you saying? This is the most powerful beard of all! It's The Beard Of Rasputin!"
Fread: "What??"
Dingo: "I shall enslave you!!!"
by dalyllama35 August 17, 2011
Get the The Beard Of Rasputin mug.