In an effort to educate and to promote understanding of our faith, I will recount the story of The Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts, the sacred commandments that were given to Mosey the Pirate by the Flying Spaghetti Monster Himself. This is the story that has been handed down for hundreds of years by generations of the Pastafarian faithful:
While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten I'd Really Rather You didn'ts, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards." The Flying Spaghetti Monsters commandments address worship of Him, the treatment of people of other faiths, sexual conduct, and nutrition.
THE EIGHT I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'TS
1.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
2.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.
4.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build multi million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
7.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.
While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten I'd Really Rather You didn'ts, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards." The Flying Spaghetti Monsters commandments address worship of Him, the treatment of people of other faiths, sexual conduct, and nutrition.
THE EIGHT I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'TS
1.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
2.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.
4.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build multi million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
7.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8.
I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.
Christian: I love God and I follow the Bible to the letter... Oh yeah thats right all 10 commandments baby.
Pastafarian: Ummm well I'm not Christian, but I have about 8 id realy rather you didnts that I like to stick with. Though they are less intrusive and less asinine and aren't just meant for adults with the reasoning skills that of kids in preschool, it gets the idea across.
Christian: Well all those strippers and beers are going to send you straight to hell
Pastafarian: Hey now, I'd really rather you didn't say that.
Pastafarian: Ummm well I'm not Christian, but I have about 8 id realy rather you didnts that I like to stick with. Though they are less intrusive and less asinine and aren't just meant for adults with the reasoning skills that of kids in preschool, it gets the idea across.
Christian: Well all those strippers and beers are going to send you straight to hell
Pastafarian: Hey now, I'd really rather you didn't say that.
by Yu Tianzi May 27, 2008
Get the 8 id realy rather you didnts mug.To be judged by 12 is to go to court and to be judged by a 12 man jury, which all court trials have.
To be carried by 6 is to be dead. It is common for 6 people to carry a coffin (3 on each side) to and from the hearse.
In total the phrase "I'd rather be judged by 12, than carried by 6" means that the person would rather kill someone and go to prison than to, themself, be killed and have to be buried.
To be carried by 6 is to be dead. It is common for 6 people to carry a coffin (3 on each side) to and from the hearse.
In total the phrase "I'd rather be judged by 12, than carried by 6" means that the person would rather kill someone and go to prison than to, themself, be killed and have to be buried.
by Outlaw2DaDeath December 31, 2005
Get the I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6 mug.Fictional Character in Jim Butcher’s series: The Dresden Files
Thomas is a noble of the vamperic white court, only surviving son of the white king. He is also Harry Dresden's older half-brother (they share the same mother: Margret LeFay).
He was disowned by his family (see Blood Rights) after a internal family fight. He lived with Harry for a little wile after this before moving into an apartment of his own in Chicago's 'Gold Coast' area. He got a job as a beautician to support himself after being cut off from family funds.
After being abducted and tortured by a shape-shifter in the book Turn Coat, he returned to his family admitting his mistake of ever trying to defy the creature he is inside.
Subsequently, because of the looks that come with the powers of his family, Thomas attracts a fairly large crowed of both women and men, and thanks to the Raith 'Come hither' powers of attraction, when he's 'hungry', humans don't stand a chance.
Thomas is a noble of the vamperic white court, only surviving son of the white king. He is also Harry Dresden's older half-brother (they share the same mother: Margret LeFay).
He was disowned by his family (see Blood Rights) after a internal family fight. He lived with Harry for a little wile after this before moving into an apartment of his own in Chicago's 'Gold Coast' area. He got a job as a beautician to support himself after being cut off from family funds.
After being abducted and tortured by a shape-shifter in the book Turn Coat, he returned to his family admitting his mistake of ever trying to defy the creature he is inside.
Subsequently, because of the looks that come with the powers of his family, Thomas attracts a fairly large crowed of both women and men, and thanks to the Raith 'Come hither' powers of attraction, when he's 'hungry', humans don't stand a chance.
by Alecerion Hino July 11, 2009
Get the Thomas Raith mug.Person1: Dude!!! Our colleague is spreading negative stories about us.
Person2: He's such a Dhruv Rathee.
Person2: He's such a Dhruv Rathee.
by ShuddhCongressi April 5, 2021
Get the Dhruv Rathee mug.This is sometimes used among the asexual community expressing that some on the ace spectrum would rather have cake over sex. Choosing to have both have cake and eat it too.
by I like cake🏳️🌈👩🏻💜🍰 June 5, 2021
Get the I'd rather have cake mug.Jack: Hey, are you going to that Kenny G. concert?
Chris: I'd rather saw my own nads off with a kite string.
Chris: I'd rather saw my own nads off with a kite string.
by Dirty Shastard December 24, 2009
Get the I'd rather saw my own nads off with a kite string. mug.1) The only reason I sat through Twilight and New Moon.
2)The man who is single-handedly hotter than the rest of the male cast of Twilight and New Moon.
3) Kick-ass musician in the band 100 Monkeys.
4) All round sexy mo-fo.
2)The man who is single-handedly hotter than the rest of the male cast of Twilight and New Moon.
3) Kick-ass musician in the band 100 Monkeys.
4) All round sexy mo-fo.
by LoLTwilightLover124 April 28, 2010
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