Pensioner Pants

Baggy trousers worn by old people. The waist is usually elasticated because the wearer has arthritic fingers incapable of fastening buttons and zips. The decrepit bag-wearer always forgets to wash these repulsive garments which end up smelling like a Paki's toilet on a particularly bad day. Pensioner Pants are very popular with obese, long-past-it security guards who bore you to death with tales of their holidays in South Africa.

Good God! Look at Pork Scotch! What's the old twat wearing now?

They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.

by Flappy Dickwad June 3, 2009

Pension Sex

A little sex each month but not enough to live on

Dude 1: Are getting back with your Ex or what?
Dude 2: Maybe, i'm getting tired of this pension sex tho.

by EuroPinseeker October 25, 2012

pensioners piano

A slots or pokies machine. Where pensioners go to spend their time before they kick the bucket.

Going to knock off work early and hit up the pensioners piano....you in?

by Mike Dibble April 27, 2020

pessiconomist

A person who fancies him/herself an economist and takes a pessimistic view of the economy.

He is always forecasting the next great depression, he is such a pessiconomist.

by snyperjack March 29, 2009

pensioner

pensioner
An old guy who receives money for just being around a long time.

The pensioner is a useless old man.

by Apple Cider May 13, 2005

Pension Witch

An evil creature typically found in healthcare; who’s life purpose is to hypnotize and lure young Firefighters into marriage only with intent to file for divorce and steal half their hard earned retirement pension.

Rookie: That hot ER nurse gave me her number. Should I ask her out?

Captain: Keep it in your pants probie, she’s only after your pension.

Rookie: how do you know? She said she’s into me.

Captain: She can’t help it. She’s a Pension Witch. She’ll sell your motorcycle and use the cash to buy into a Pyramid scheme.

by Spicy chicken fajitas May 11, 2021

Demon Pension

Another word for Semen Retention; Males retaining their semen during sexual intercourse. Just like a pension, you're saving it all up for a greater and more meaningful investment.

Man: " Yo Jemit, I made her cum twice and still made sure my shit was on demon pension"

Jemit: " Whhhhat, no way! How do you make a girl cum?"

by bramptonshordy June 1, 2020