Masturbate

To jerk off, to jack off, to whack off, to beat off, to crank on out, to thrash, to choke the (Chinese) chicken, to pinch the one-eyed snake, to slap the salami, to spank the dolphin, to flog the dolphin, to pull the pork, to polish one's gun, to shine the silver, to beat the bishop, to smack little johnny behind his German helmet and purple bulbous ear, to do the five knuckle shuffle, to make love with oneself, to beat around the bush, to flick the sausage, to punch the purple ninja, to juice the snake, to peel the banana, to milk the cow, to squeeze the purple-headed yogurt-slinger, to slap the monkey, to tame the dragon, to play pocket pool, to go bowling by oneself, to hit a homerun in the homefield, and yet, to strike out, to whittle the woodblock, to shimmy up and down the pole of love, to initiate the Saturn V, to turn on the sprinklers, to turn on one's love hose, to punch the clown in the nose, to tweek the deek, to hit the dick, to tallywhack, to soil the Kleenex, to smother the hanky, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few.
Most guys should know what I'm talking about.
by Master Chesco April 19, 2004
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Masturbate

To touch oneself until an orgasm is reached.
Males grab their cock and stroke.
Females finger themselves, or use a dildo, or vibrator, or a hot dog...
We all do it, don't deny it.
Bob had to masturbate all the time because he was too creepy to get laid.
Jane would rather masturbate, because she can't risk getting a bun in her oven. Although, she's had her eye on Bob for a while...
by ChEeSe Is GoOd October 06, 2006
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Masturbate

For guys only; If you want a really good orgasm quickly, then go into the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and cover the shaft of your penis with toilet paper. Move the toilet paper up and down, while pressing hard on your penis. The orgasm leaves you breathless, and I shot sperm about a foot and a half. FEELS GOOD.
Damn, I used to toilet paper to masturbate, and I think I was in heavon-on-earth.
by Master Bater. May 28, 2008
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Masturbate

Guys- To rapidly yank your crank.
Chicks- To use variouse toys and satisfy yourself, or an electric toothbrush.
by Maddie April 17, 2005
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Masturbate

to play with yourself
by boomer2 July 29, 2003
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Masturbate

What your 12 year old Son or Daughter starts doing once their showers go from 5 minutes to 45 minutes in length.
Don't be fooled by the 45 minutes of "washing my hair" make sure everyone in your household takes a poop before you masturbate
by itakelongshowers May 05, 2010
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Masturbate

When one stimulates the genetilia. For guys, it involves taking their hands and gently rubbing up and down on their cock and they seem to get harder and harder and start rubbing faster until he cums all over the place, he also will get VERY horny and have an orgasim. For girls, it involves sticking one, two, three, four. or how ever many fingers or a foreign object in their vagina hole; often called "sticky fingers" becasue your fingers do tend to get sticky, but its pleasurable. You tend to do it while having cyber sex or looking at dicks.... it gets you very horny and you reach a HUGE orgasim.
I can't come down for dinner right now, I'm too busy masturbating and it feels SO good!
by ANYONE could! February 16, 2005
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