Jehovah

something that isn't real keep trying Christians

dumb fuck: praise jehovah!
me: kys retard

by Ohnocringeasl April 11, 2024

Jehovah's Fitness

What those bible pimps get from walking around all day and knocking on unanswered doors.

Peter and Gordon were deep in their Church pilgrimage to convert people. They were full of energy because of their Jehovah's Fitness.

by will bitten September 14, 2017

Jehovah's Wankers

An insult toward Jehovah's Witness. First recorded use was in GradeAUnderA's video, "People I Hate at my Door", where Grade uses it as an example of how NOT to react to Jehovah's.

"OH MY GOD!! Fucking Jehovah's WANKERS come to MY house, and politely ask me if I have a few minutes spare to talk about God!...BASTARDS!! HOW DARE THEY?!"

by Turn the Lights Off August 4, 2016

Jehovah's Witnesses

Students of the Bible who preach the "Kingdom of God." They claim that their God--Jehovah--is using Jesus Christ to bring an end to the world as we know it.

One of Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door, shared a scripture, and offered me a Watchtower magazine.

by Mack C January 16, 2007

Jehovah's Fitness

When a Jehovah's Witness loses weight from knocking on a lot of doors in their preaching ministry.

"Did you lose weight Brother Fatterson? You are looking very Jehovah's fitness"

by Beth Shan2 August 26, 2013

Jehovah's Witness

A group of people who's faces are flat from getting doors slammed in their faces.

Jehovah's Witness: Ouch, my face feels like Kansas.

by slatte November 13, 2006

Jehovah's Splitness

The only real way you can deal with a JW that is a member of your family. No matter what you say you cannot convince them that they a working for an enormous tax dodge publishing empire based in NYC.

In return they have to stay away from you once you make it clear you think their beliefs are beyond whacky.

The result - you don't see each other, but you still get to go to all the fun things like birthdays etc without that freak being there. Win!

Bob: Hey, is that your brother in law? Lets go say hi.

Adam: Nah man, he's a JW, we are keeping our distance.

Bob: Sounds like some serious Jehovah's Splitness there bro?

Adam: Damn right, it's awesome.

by Witness the Fitness April 8, 2010