When, unbeknownst to you, the regular coffee pot at work actually contains decaf coffee causing mid-morning head nods, yawns, headaches, and sluggishness.
I would have finished that assignment this morning, but I couldn't because it turns out that I was decaf poisoned. I fell asleep at my desk!
An order so lame that when placed at a cafe or restaurant it leaves the server reliving memories of their lost virginity. An order of a decaf espresso is a drink so pointless that it is synonymous only with a hand job over the pants... those pants most likely being jeans.
"Dude, you ever had a decaf espresso?"
"Yeah once when I was like 13 but I wouldn't recommend it. My pants frayed and I totally chaffed."
or
"The movie theater was packed so all she could give me was a decaf espresso."