Beanstalking

It's the masturbation of an extremely large penis, such as that of a mythical giant.

I'm bored, what do you say we go beanstalking. I believe she was jackin' the beanstalk.

by Double UM August 25, 2011

Arkansas Beanstalk

An Arkansas Beanstalk is when a man has numerous ticks on the shaft of his penis so that when it gets erect and the ticks swell with blood it looks like a beanstalk. This can provide his partner with unbelievable pleasure as the ticks provide pressure points similar to ribs on a condom.

Man, last summer after the corn harvest I had an Arkansas beanstalk that took three days for the old lady to work out. I gotta tell you though, she cant wait till next year's harvest.

by Doc 3416 June 24, 2014

Jackin' the Beanstalk

When one inserts both testicles into a woman's vagina whilst vigorously jackin' off on her abdomen, hence the name.

Just like Jack and HIS beanstalk, last night I carefully planted my two seeds and was Jackin' the beanstalk all over Mary.

by Very Wise Man February 27, 2011

jackin the beanstalk

pretty self explanatory. An act of jerkin it, or tuggin the bugger. Otherwise known as masturbation.

Jon: "Yo, did you do your english assignment last night?"

Me: Nah man, I was preocupied jackin the beanstalk.

Jon: You been jackin the beanstalk AGAIN?!

Me: 3 times a day bro.

by J Benj November 5, 2007

Nigerian Beanstalk

When you poop your pants and get a boner at the same time.

Dude, when I got my Spice Girls album in the mail it totally gave me a Nigerian Beanstalk...

by MargaretBarns April 27, 2011

Alabama Beanstalk

The sexual art of picking up your girlfriend/sister over your head, much like a giant, and bringing her back down forcefully on your knee. This act is properly done when the back is not broken, but your female partner is short of breath and gasping for air. You can make it extra fun by orally fucking her senseless as she gasps and sputters for air.

I'm still recovering from the Alabama Beanstalk that Tony gave me last night

by FingerPuncher May 29, 2017

Jack-and-the-beanstalked

The subject must be at least 6 foot tall for this term to be used. It occurs when one male of at least 6 feet in height is dancing typical Caucasian moves with a newly acquainted female counterpart, and then an even taller male rudely jumps in between the two with spastic, over-the-top "Night At The Roxbury" moves resulting in the aforementioned male being cast aside to either the left or right of the female wondering what the fuck just happened.

This happened to me last night at a dance club and I immediately coined the phrase due to my sharp wit and ability to straight clown someone that cockblocks me.

"Dude last night I was doing The Watusi with this chica, and outta nowhere this lanky cracker 'Jack-and-the-beanstalked' me."

by DuValicious April 21, 2013