asswipe

1) a device that has been used to remove excrement from the anus. 2) a person who resembles in behavior, language or attitude a device used to remove excrement.

1) She used the poison ivy as an asswipe.
2) I can't believe he kicked the keg! What an Asswipe!

by Jovian August 6, 2003

asswipes

Those wet wipes in the little pop-open container that you can flush after cleaning your bum.

It’s hard to imagine how I took a really good shit back then, without my trusty asswipes!

by Dr Bunnygirl August 1, 2019

Asswipe Johnson

On September 26th, 1992 Nicolas Cage hosted Saturday Night Live. In one sketch Nicolas Cage and actress Julia Sweeney act out parts as soon to be parents deciding on a name for their child. After many of the suggestions by the wife the husband continues to decline most of the names she is coming up with on the grounds that the child would be made fun of because of that particular name. As the husband continues to be more defensive about his own past as being made fun of and continues to dislike the names suggested, a telegram is delivered by an agent played by Rob Schneider. The agent tells them that the telegram is for a person named “Asswipe Johnson”. The husband immediately tries to correct him by informing him that his name is pronounced: “Os-wee-pay”. It is at this time you realize the motivation behind the husband’s scrutiny. This term is often used in a comical way in substitution for a person of which you forgot their name. Basically a synonym for John Doe. The term can be used as “Asswipe Johnson”, or “Osweepay Johnson”.

A: What was the name of that guy you knew with that thing?
B: Oh, uh....I dunno, Osweepay Johnson?
A: Osweepay Johnson, thats funny.
B: Do you get it?
A: Not really.
B: Osweepay, Asssss....wipe.
A: Oh yea! Hehehehehe.
B: Mm-kay.

by Paramecium July 25, 2004

asswipe

asswipe known as toilet paper you use to wipe your ass or to blow your nose when you run out of facial tissues

because of the coronavirus asswipe is hard to get these days

by bluebear April 8, 2020

asswipe

a shithead, shitsleeve, shitbum, asshole, dickface, etc.

Yo, asswipe, get your hands off my sister!

by Shane Arnold March 29, 2005

Asswiper

A person who is a such a kiss up to a boss or bosses they'd go so far as to wipe their bosses ass to show their dedication

"The reason Peter got the promotion over Tom is because Peter is an Asswiper"

by Alexander Sedler October 29, 2003

asswipe

An idiot or seemingly stupid individual. or someone who is just being an asshole.

"He is so godamed stupid...... freakin asswipe.
("freakin" is always prior to "asswipe")

by ices May 12, 2003