ass handed

1) someone who shoots shit from their hand


2) someone that sits on their hands

3) When someone challenges a far superior force and loses without a single high point. The superior force will act as if it is business as usual, and will not gloat about their victory.

The fucktard in the corvette got his ass handed to him by a mini-cooper when he dared drive his yank tank on tighter european roads.

by Gumba Gumba March 16, 2004

Ass-handed

A metaphore implying that a person permanently has both hands up their own ass.

Did you see that guy on his phone? That ass-handed bitch made me miss the green light!

by Obnoxshus Rapper October 8, 2017

ass handed

To chide, scold or reprimand; to deliver a mild rebuke; to request that one chill.

After Peach announced that any further posts containing his hairy-butt photo would henceforth be summarily deleted, Austin got his ass handed to him.

by dalnat January 20, 2009

my ass handed to me

It Means Geeting Beated Very Hard

Joe : I'll Beat the hell out of those assholes but if I do I'll get my ass handed to me

by Shady99 May 6, 2014

asscandle

A candle, inserted rectally.

Smell this asscandle!

by Asshat Supreme May 11, 2003

Asscandle

Normally referring to an individual with homosexual tendancies, who has a history of cheating on his fiance

Ash, you cheated on your fiance, you fucking asscandle

by Victor February 24, 2005

Asshanded

The past tense description of having your ass handed to you.

Frequently used in spofo, a sports forum on craigslist, or its' evil twisted product of incest step sister: forum 1006

Dude, you just got asshanded, AGAIN.

Well, we asshanded the "Trifecta" yet again today, you can tell when he starts posting more and more.

Why does Inshannityboi keep telling me I'm asshanded, when all I said was hello?

by trollertroller December 8, 2011