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Alimony

That wife you love so much, the little honey buns who you thought was an angel? Well, she's going to castrate you. Once she's done with that, she'll take your kids, put a restraining order on you with a false accusation, and then she'll take everything that rightfully belongs to YOU. After this, you must followed with a series of payments to support her, even if she is perfectly able to work.

Yes, my friend, welcome to the world of alimony. You better pray that the child support (which WILL inevitably come) does not toss your castrated balls into the grinder to make food for the dogs.
Judge: You make 30,000 a year, so you must give your wife 15,000. Oh, and your child support is $300 a month.

Guy: Good-bye comfort and hello hunger...
by BusinessMan April 22, 2005
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alibony

a husband's or wife's non-court-ordered provision for a spouse before separation or divorce. Derived from alimony and getting boned.
Jenn gave birth today and that is clearly not my kid. Who knows who that whore slept with, but she better be getting some aliBony to help with these bills.
by DrillPress September 20, 2017
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alimony babe

A female who lives in one of the varied United States that provides alimony payments for an ambitionless female, who attracts a certain type of male who only frequents such states; who is searching for an easy, low expectation relationship with her, who finds her a real cheap catch, that another man/alimony payor continues to support, unbenounced to the alimony female.
Hey man did you check out that hot alimony babe? Yeah shes a real catch, her ex husband still pays alimony and I don't have to do nothing... I can take her for a .99 cent burger and she'll do anything sexually...
by shanlew April 26, 2011
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Alimony

A word you learn when you get divorced.
What's alimony? You'll know exactly what it is when you get your ass handed to you in court.
by 5amideas May 7, 2022
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Downtown Alimony

When a divorce occurs and one ex solicits the other for post-marital sexual favors in exchange for commodities.
"Hey Jen, I heard you have a car payment you need help putting towards."
"Alright Eric- I'll award you some Downtown Alimony in exchange for money to the car note."
by Mickey Terf May 24, 2019
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Alamony

Veterans widows benefits paid to Elizabeth Patton-Crockett and other wives of the deceased patriots from the Texas Revolution massacre.
For some divorced husbands, having to pay alamony actually feels comparably painful to being killed in action at the infamous Mexican chapel.
by QuacksO August 30, 2018
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Alimony

uh...Shawn sweetie, you forgot one..............
.......pre-nup
by Evil Tim August 5, 2003
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