Something dumb shits do: Cash out their 401k and just chill for a few months until it runs out. Then find a job, if any employer would be so lucky to have their dumb ass.
by nogimmick December 29, 2015
Get the 401k and chill mug.A retirement plan, of sorts, for white trash people living in the South. Generally speaking a low-end wage earner will claim a back injury and go to an unscrupulous doctor who will assist in the claim of a debilitating health condition. Ultimately the participant in the Alabama 401K will receive a monthly check, tax free, so technically we could refer to this plan as a Redneck Roth IRA.
The recipients can usally be found hanging around Auto Zone trying to return a 10 year old starter from one of the many broken down Firebirds (aka trailer park Corvette) sprinkled in front of their God-forsaken turd shack of a house but don't understand that Auto Zone does not accept starters actually purchased at Advance Auto.
Some like-minded individuals will also participate in a Mama 401K. This is where the least successful of a mother's offspring returns to his birth home and mooches off said mother's social security check. On account of an unhealthy need for familiar approval, the mother freely allows the formerly errant son to have full reign of the double-wide mobile home. He may even make a half-hearted attempt to rebuild the transmission from his '77 Trans Am that he spray painted black and gold to look like Smokey's car as in "Smokey and the Bandit." He constantly claims to be looking for work when he is not reading the Auto Trader. Usually these people talk of an imaginary check that they will be receiving as a result of a settlement in a lawsuit filed against his employer after a fall from a roof some 6 years ago.
This individual can be seen at the local Wal-Mart, staring carefully and nervously at cold medicine boxes. Said indivual will usally have a bottle of acetone or Heet brand water remover in his cart and quite possibly a container or two of drain cleaner. Tonight he ain't fryin' catfish; he's gonna make a batch of shithouse meth. He will pay for the purchase by returning the Similac cans he "purchased" a week earlier using the WIC vouchers (sort of like food stamps for babies)intended for his numerous illegitimate half-wits.
The recipients can usally be found hanging around Auto Zone trying to return a 10 year old starter from one of the many broken down Firebirds (aka trailer park Corvette) sprinkled in front of their God-forsaken turd shack of a house but don't understand that Auto Zone does not accept starters actually purchased at Advance Auto.
Some like-minded individuals will also participate in a Mama 401K. This is where the least successful of a mother's offspring returns to his birth home and mooches off said mother's social security check. On account of an unhealthy need for familiar approval, the mother freely allows the formerly errant son to have full reign of the double-wide mobile home. He may even make a half-hearted attempt to rebuild the transmission from his '77 Trans Am that he spray painted black and gold to look like Smokey's car as in "Smokey and the Bandit." He constantly claims to be looking for work when he is not reading the Auto Trader. Usually these people talk of an imaginary check that they will be receiving as a result of a settlement in a lawsuit filed against his employer after a fall from a roof some 6 years ago.
This individual can be seen at the local Wal-Mart, staring carefully and nervously at cold medicine boxes. Said indivual will usally have a bottle of acetone or Heet brand water remover in his cart and quite possibly a container or two of drain cleaner. Tonight he ain't fryin' catfish; he's gonna make a batch of shithouse meth. He will pay for the purchase by returning the Similac cans he "purchased" a week earlier using the WIC vouchers (sort of like food stamps for babies)intended for his numerous illegitimate half-wits.
Mama, did my check come in today? I need to by a three neck Pyrex boiler for the shed.
Alabama 401K--retirement plan for broke-ass rednecks who could not read the questions on the ASVAB which is a prerequisite to join the Alabama National Guard.
Alabama 401K--retirement plan for broke-ass rednecks who could not read the questions on the ASVAB which is a prerequisite to join the Alabama National Guard.
by Gary Vitalis December 12, 2008
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The market dropped so much that all last years contributions to my 401k have been wiped out. I'll bet the clowns that managed it made sure their big money clients didn't lose anything.
by wjc August 5, 2008
Get the 401k mug.A girl or guy that you could see yourself marrying in the future, but currently want to remain friends. You invest time and conversation occasionally in this person because you know the payout in the future will be worth it.
Bro 1 -"Hey bro, are you going to date Molly?"
Bro 2 -"No, right now shes just my 401K."
Bro 1 -"What does that mean?"
Bro 2 -"Right now isn't the right time to date her, but I see myself marrying her when I retire from these hoes and my current lifestyle."
Bro 2 -"No, right now shes just my 401K."
Bro 1 -"What does that mean?"
Bro 2 -"Right now isn't the right time to date her, but I see myself marrying her when I retire from these hoes and my current lifestyle."
by teejstroyer27 April 26, 2015
Get the 401K mug.1.)when a person presents as financially stable and well-adjusted.
2.) when a person is attractive due to their financial status or mature behavior.
2.) when a person is attractive due to their financial status or mature behavior.
by Mickey Mackenzie FM April 28, 2023
Get the 401k energy mug.Someone who is legally too young to date, so an older, interested individual must invest time and effort into a platonic relationship until such time they can reap the forbidden benefits legally.
"Yes! I've been friends with this girl for a year and it's finally her 18th birthday. Time to cash in my 401k!"
by Capybarrra November 13, 2011
Get the 401k mug.A single middle aged man who isnt tall or attractive but will have his pick of women when he hits his 50's
by Evilsacramento2 April 2, 2017
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