January 4

a day where chloe xie is born ! happy birthday to myself LOL

friend: omg is january 4 ! happy birthday chloe !!

January 4 by chloe xie is better than u December 3, 2021

January 5th 

national sexy bitch day, only sexy horny motherfuckers are born on this day and they deserve lots of sex

:it’s january 5th
:your birthday?
:yes now fuck me

January 5th by lilmicrowavablepizza December 4, 2021

January 28th 

National eat whatever you want day, forget dieting eat anything u want

EMMA: why are you eating all the food? i thought u was on a diet
SAM: it’s january 28th!
EMMA: OH!!

January 28th by anonymous December 12, 2021

January Christmas 

Dad is very sorry but his paycheck for the last job won’t come in until January so we won’t have gifts on Dec. 25. They’ll be just a few weeks late I promise.

<Late December>
8yo Me: Dad, you’re so late. I missed you.

Best dad ever: I missed you too. Just trying to get this job done so I’ve been working late.

Me: but you won’t have to work Christmas like last year will ya?
BDE: No, son, I’ll be here. But since I didn’t finish the job I won’t get paid before Xmas. But I’ll get paid in a few weeks and we’ll celebrate then. Well just have a January Christmas. Ok?
Me: that’s fine dad. I understand.

January Christmas by !JayAm! December 13, 2021

January 1st 2022 

Ninja will floss again, at exactly 12 AM January 1st 2022, Mark my words, and when he will, you don't wanna know what happens...

Guy 1: "Hey, did you hear about January 1st 2022?
Guy 2 : "We don't talk about January 1st 2022"
Guy 1: "Yeah..."

January 1st 2022 by I am a shark December 17, 2021

January 5th 

National school fight day 2.0

Its january 5th time to finally have a school fight

January 5th by Shaz05 December 18, 2021

January 1st 

The day where New Years Eve comes. The day everyone stayed up on Dec 31, to 12am. Your reading this by “I <3 Me.” But, why New Years Eve on January first?

Your Mom: It’s 12AM!!
You: So?…
Your Mom: NEW YEARS EVE! January 1st *chases you with broom*
You: MOM NOOOO
YOUR MOM: Y/N YESSSSSSSSS
You: *dead*

January 1st by I <3 me December 22, 2021