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something came in the mailtoday 

used as a joke for deez nuts, also can be used a s a joke with friends.
something came in the mailtoday

DEEZ NUTZ hah... goteem

something you don't want 

a very bad outcome; serious trouble or a big mess; a beatdown.
"Dude you keep saying that and you're gonna get something you don't want."

Something that has nothing to do with sex

Literally noting. Not on this site
"Is there something that has nothing to do with sex on this site" Said Everyone ever

Something Awful

A lame website with even lamer forums. However, if you by any chance like feminazi mods, forum downtime from comically inept script writers, MS paint, pathetic personal e/n stories, fat nerds with neckbeards, extra features that cost money and are usually broken, circle jerk threads, smug, whiny rich kids, unfunny spamboards (BYOB), and people who can't take a joke or laugh at themselves, then this is the forum for you.
Something Awful was cool......back in 2002.
Something Awful by radium October 29, 2006

something big 

when one describes what they don't have in their pants
Hey babe, wanna see something big?

shows large house, followed by 300ft firehose; ignores toothpick-sized nether regions