Maskurbate

To wear a surgical or other face mask over the nose and mouth to protect from viruses while completely alone

That guys maskurbates all the time in his car even though no one else is riding with him.

by Smoopie April 25, 2021

Masturbaids

An infection in a small cut or laceration on the hand due to unsanitary self love.

" See this little red patch on my hand, mate ? That's Masturbaids ! Got it last night after a dirty wank."

by C. Albano December 9, 2008

masturbate

When you're horny enough, what you do when you're too chicken or virginal to grab a partner to do it with you. Can be simple or complex; depending on how horny or depraved you are.

Guys: stroke their penis.
Girls: rub their clitoris in a circular motion, or stick various objects inside themselves.

Guys usually find masturbation through friends, whereas girls tend to find it on their own.

Guy: Ahhh. Playboy.
Girl: Ahhh. Porn and cyber sex.

Guy: Oooh... oooh... wow, those boobs are HUGE... (mentally: Damn, why can't I get a girl? Oh well, I'll masturbate) whoa... (slips hands into pants)... yeah... yeah... (strokes himself)...holy shit, she's hot... whoa... (comes) Ahhh. Satisfaction.
Girl: Wait, she does what? (aroused) He sticks his... oh... (fantasizes about opening door and grabbing boy next door but knows she is only a virgin... Sex can wait, masturbate!)... he flips up her skirt... sucks on her breast...ahh... (slips one hand under blouse, other inside underwear)...omigosh, he's eating her out...(strokes her clitoris in a slow circular motion)... Wow! Wow! (picks up speed) Omigosh, this is so hot! (moans) Oh... (screams expletives in ecstasy)... ahh...ah...(explodes in pleasure) Ahhh. (sticks finder inside for good measure, then pulls it out and smiles in bliss)

by una chica fantastica January 11, 2006

Masturbat

A misspelling that sheltered kids make. The wrong way to spell masturbate. If you had no clue how to spell it shame on you.

Derek: Masturbat, whats that mean? Is it when the best baseball player on the team is the only one that gets to use the good bat?

by Schultzy235 July 3, 2009

masturbate

Freeing ur tadpoles;Rubbing your dick until it hardens to the core and a white subtance called SPERM also known as cum oozes out and in some cases it leaks out.

Joe:my science teacher told me that sperms look like tadpoles
Jim:So?
Joe:I thought of not being cruel to them.So once i reached home,i freed them :-)
Jim:Actually that's wat i do during my free time,I masturbate.
Joe:Oh,ok...

by Siddiq March 28, 2008

Masturbathe

Masturbating in the shower

Attention students of College University, please don't Masturbathe in the shower. The semen is clogging the drains.

by H. Honcho September 9, 2012

How to masturbate

How a man in prison gets off in the shower by himself

Get naked, get hard, lube your thighs, stick your hard-on between your legs, run in place until victory! Now you know How to Masturbate - Convict style

by Skin Head Peanut April 14, 2008