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The Expectable Spanish Inquisition

Person One: "Hey man ho-"
The Expectable Spanish Inquisition: "No one expects The Expectable Spanish Inquisition"
Person One: "Fuck off"
by Ronny Mccoy March 29, 2021
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Shooting myself in the dick and expecting to survive

When someone suggests you stop or start doing something absolutely ridiculous that will affect something important to you, like your swag, your family or your life
Jack: Hey Joe, what are you giving up for lent?
Joe: Nothing, why?
Jack: Oh good. Can you give up chocolate with me?
Joe: No man, that's like shooting myself in the dick and expecting to survive
by Oh my my July 2, 2015
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expert chef

1 - v. To toss seemingly random foods together in order to sate powerful hunger. Results vary from delicious to disgusting.

2 - n. Someone who expert chefs on a notably regular basis.

3 - n. The song after which the above terms were named, produced by semi-renowned webcomic artist Drew Dee, released under the pseudonym CRUDBUMP.
1. Ever since I've been skipping dinner at a reasonable time, I've found myself expert cheffing an awful lot after commons closes. Did you know that chocolate nicely complements most cheeses?

2. This year I decided to skip paying for a meal plan and buy all my own groceries so I could eat healthier. Needless to say, I've become a bit of an expert chef.

3. "Make you a trail mix with full size Kit-Kats / Do it real quick, show me where the bowl is at / Add some peanuts and mix 'em with some raisins / Put some M&Ms in and top it with some Craisins / I'm the Expert Chef."
- CRUDBUMP, "Expert Chef"
by Heavy Lobster November 16, 2010
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Expertly

A term used to over exaggerate someone's ability to do something of little importance.

Typically used by hipster and or liberal media "journalists" such as the morons writing Yahoo! "news articles"...

Which are usually copypastas of twitter or facebook posts.
Kim Kardashian "expertly" breathed air. It was really hard.
by ChewML March 7, 2019
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ExpertPitch

Pro Counter who spends all day counting on discord instead of doing anything else
Guy: look it's ExpertPitch
Other Guy: He spends all day counting!
by Discord Countr Bot July 10, 2023
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Disposal expert

Someone who is great at removing incriminating evidence
Anton calling Leroy
Leroy: "What up Fool?"
Anton: "Hey I need a "Disposal Expert", I got a problem and its a fucking huge one."
Leroy: "I'll call "him" up."
by RaiRaijinn December 16, 2016
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local expert

A neighbourhood expert (usually called Karen) who always interferes and is vocal about knowing what’s best
Karen on that Neighbourhood app is such a local expert, the annoying cunt
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