Procrasturbation

Waiting too long to masturbate, causing extreme pain and bodily harm

Don put off masturbation for 2 weeks and his testicles imploded

by G·r·a·h·a·m June 13, 2005

Procrasturbating

Wanting to jerk off/masturbate, but continuously putting it off

"Oh man my dick really hurts"

"Why don't you just jerk off? That always makes my dick stop hurting."

"Yea I've meant to but I've really been procrasturbating lately

by Scrub Nation February 22, 2011

Procrasturbation Station

The central location where one chooses to procrastinate in the form of masturbation.

I was supposed to write a paper, but I ended up practically glued to my procrasturbation station all night instead.

by Ass Sassinator January 10, 2011

Sargasmic Procrasturbation

(n) When you try to procrastinate something by acting like you are masturbating so much that you actually have an orgasm.

Guy 1: Are you ready for the test?
Guy 2: No man, I just did some sargasmic procrasturbation for hours last night so I need to study after I sleep.

procrasturbation sargasm orgasm procrastination

by el whispering eye October 18, 2010

Cybernetic Procrasturbation

Willful and enjoyable procrastination that is predominantly performed through the use of internet-based sources of distraction. Basically, anything electronic that holds your attention from completing necessary tasks.
i.e. social media, Reddit, shopping, and gaming (vidya).

"I wasted four hours on cybernetic procrasturbation today and now I can't finish this report for my boss on time!"

"Zach is the worst at handing in papers on time because he is always cybernetically procrasturbating."

by Noodl3Ninja October 23, 2020

Sargasmic Procrasturbation

When you masturbate while you procrastinate in a sarcastic manner until you orgasm.

Guy 1: Hey, did you finish the project?

Guy 2: Hell yeah I did! I've been working on my sargasmic procrasturbation all night!

Guy 1: So you didn't really finish it, did you?

Guy 2: Nope, I haven't even started.

by Muff Garbage October 21, 2010

Procrasturbating

The act of masturbating in place of doing any kind of labor (Homework, chores, etc.)

"I was really bored and didn't wanna do my homework, so I decided to do some procrasturbating."

by Crispy M. June 22, 2017