Awkward Hand Job 

When a male convinces a male or female friend to give him a hand job. It is an emotionless act, and is purely a mechanical action. The friend is guilted into performing the act, usually being unenthusiastic and employing sloppy technique. As neither party is interested, the receiver usually finds it difficult to maintain an erection, and climax is rarely achieved.

Neither party benefits from this transaction, and it is usually considered the low point of any friendship. This uncomfortable incident usually leads to a brief hiatus in the friendship while both parties come to terms with their awkward feelings of guilt/shame.

An awkward hand job may be used a form of currency or bartering system for minor favors or small amounts of money.

Used in conversation as "AHJ".

Example (Awkward Hand Job):

Person 1: I can pay you back that money I owe you next friday!

Person 2: It's fine, just give me an AHJ and we'll call it quits.

Person 1: ... fine... :-/

Awkward Hand Job by kevseany August 4, 2012

Awkward Lantern

Someone who transcends awkwardness in social situations, and even can control it and use it to their own advantage. An Awkward Lantern is somebody who can talk to anybody, and redirect any awkwardness in a conversation unto the other parties, by refusing to acknowledge it. Named after the superhero Green Lantern, because whereas a Green Lantern has control over the color green, an Awkward Lantern has control over awkwardness. Although they are rare, awkward lanterns are usually very adaptable and quick-thinking individuals. A true one can be dangerous if not a friend, because they have allies in the most unexpected places.

"I can't believe he got invited to that party!"
"Of course he did. He's an Awkward Lantern."

Awkward Lantern by mrblonde267 September 6, 2007

awkward transference  

When you're watching a movie and actors start to sing. You feel so embarrassed for them and your eyes start to tear.

"Dude, why is Sigourney Weaver singing 'Back in the U.S.S.R.?' I'm feeling such awkward transference right now."

awkward transference by lewibrysh April 11, 2009

awkward as fuck 

When a moment becomes overly embarrassing, discomforting or inconvenient for all involved in the moment, except for the person being awkward, as they are unaware of their loserness qualities.

When this moment occurs, in particular in Perth at Uni Games, you are entitled to say the phrase "Awkward. As. Fuck. " You are also allowed to abbreviate this to AAF, so the perpetrator does not know you are referring to them as the person being Awkward as fuck.

Walking into your hotel room and your roommate is lying there naked with a hand towel over his groinal area. "Zac, WTF are you doing! Umm.... awkward as fuck"

awkward as fuck by phildo22 November 1, 2010

awkward mel 

use two hands and lift them about temple high and move them foward and backward mildly from temple to ear

melissa instructs a guy to lift something off the scanner and instead signals a plane to land. this is then known as the awkward mel

awkward mel by angelo aka kid fresh May 15, 2008

Awkward Timing 

When someone comments on something at an unnecessary moment

A man tells his friend that his mom is hot and doesnt realize she is behind him.

"That was some awkward timing"

Awkward Timing by Wooplah April 24, 2009

Awkward Puppet 

Someone on the side lines or third wheel

The word was created by Jelane!....

Going to a birthday party and not knowing anyone but the person who's birthday it is. In this situation you would be considered an awkward puppet.. Poor you..

Awkward Puppet by jelydas March 25, 2010