The ''Valentinus bigpenus'' usually just called Valentin was discovered and researched on by a random old scientist. They are a member of the Hominina tribe (or human tribe), a branch of the tribe Hominini belonging to the family of great apes.
The first Valentin was discovered in a cave in 69 BC. The latest fossils were found in a cave next to a computer of a fat guy. The Valentin caves usually held lots of female human skeletons with their genitalia parts cracked. Scientists said that those skeletons were once beautiful human women, until the Valentins lured them into his cave. Scientists say that they lure other females in with their enormous penises.
The remains of 99% of the skeletons were usually paralyzed from the neck down. The Valentin specie is near extinction with only 6 and a half alive. They reproduce with humans and sometimes asexually by using binary fission (basically cloning). But they prefer to reproduce sexually. The Valentins reproduce sexually with women only because they are a very straight specie. They are characterized with their large penises, their height, black hair and chiseled abs. They are practically immortal as the oldest one is 6 billion years old. They have many things about them that includes the attributes of omniscience (infinite knowledge), omnipotence (unlimited power), omnipresence (present everywhere), divine simplicity, and as having an eternal and necessary existence.
The first Valentin was discovered in a cave in 69 BC. The latest fossils were found in a cave next to a computer of a fat guy. The Valentin caves usually held lots of female human skeletons with their genitalia parts cracked. Scientists said that those skeletons were once beautiful human women, until the Valentins lured them into his cave. Scientists say that they lure other females in with their enormous penises.
The remains of 99% of the skeletons were usually paralyzed from the neck down. The Valentin specie is near extinction with only 6 and a half alive. They reproduce with humans and sometimes asexually by using binary fission (basically cloning). But they prefer to reproduce sexually. The Valentins reproduce sexually with women only because they are a very straight specie. They are characterized with their large penises, their height, black hair and chiseled abs. They are practically immortal as the oldest one is 6 billion years old. They have many things about them that includes the attributes of omniscience (infinite knowledge), omnipotence (unlimited power), omnipresence (present everywhere), divine simplicity, and as having an eternal and necessary existence.
Person 1: Hey, I saw valentin watching me in the shower today. He was flying his horse then he saw me and blessed me with this dildo
Person 2: Valentins dont exist what are you talking abou-
:Valentin erases person 2 from existence:
Person 1: He deserved it anyways..
Person 2: Valentins dont exist what are you talking abou-
:Valentin erases person 2 from existence:
Person 1: He deserved it anyways..
by Minecraft4lyf January 28, 2017
Get the Valentin mug.A'ight, well, I'm not going to say he's sexy, because that's overplayed. He's extremely handsome. Anyway, he's got incredible talent at the guitar. Absolutely incredible. He's in a band called the Strokes who are, all put together, the number one best band in the history of music and the best band ever in the universe, to quote what somebody said already although not in quotes. In an interview for LAUNCH, he said that music is the Strokes's top priority, and it seems to be definitely his. I love Nick Valensi and need guitar lessons, as well.
Nick Valensi might give me guitar lessons if... I... do something for him... and if he ever reads this definition...
by Stroke Number Six February 12, 2005
Get the Nick Valensi mug.Related Words
Valez
• Valeza
• Valezed
• valezka
• Tomas valez
• valentine's day
• valentina
• valentine
• valentin
• valé
1: A marketing ploy designed to create the expectation between couples that they will buy useless, overpriced "gifts" for one another that will be quickly forgotten the day afterward.
2: A cruel, vicious holiday designed to mock single people and remind them of just how lonely they are.
2: A cruel, vicious holiday designed to mock single people and remind them of just how lonely they are.
1: My girlfriend got pissed 'cuz I didn't get her some shit for Valentine's Day.
2: Valentines Day makes me want to crawl in a hole and die.
2: Valentines Day makes me want to crawl in a hole and die.
by Gazuga April 22, 2004
Get the Valentine's Day mug.Guitarist in the NY-originating band The Strokes; tall; started playing the guitar at age 5 or six after receiving an acoustic guitar; likes "stripey socks."
by Strokes fan February 2, 2004
Get the Nick Valensi mug.This is like Missionary but SO much better. With him on top, have him put your ankles up by his shoulders so your legs make a "V." You'll still get to enjoy plenty of eye contact, but the super deep penetration makes it feel way naughtier. The best position ever, the valedictorian
by captain mc awesome super April 7, 2016
Get the the valedictorian mug.Valentina is so fucking beautiful. Her smile will lighten up ur day,she's a simp over this guy named chase. Valentina is the hottest girl in school, all the boys in school are always staring at her but she never notices them. She can be very sweet and nice at times but if you piss her off she will snap at you. Most people don't know this but Valentina can be very romantic at times, but will only show it around a person she really likes. Valentina is mostly around the guy's group cuz she has more things in common with them,but at times she will be with the girls. Valentina is very athletic and strong.
If you ever have a girl like Valentina than I suggest you hold on to her cuz she will hold on to you.
by Dumb_For_Love September 14, 2020
Get the Valentina mug.Someone you like but have not yet done anything about it yet. Valentine's Day is the perfect day to take it to the next level and spoil them maybe even take them out.
You're my Valentine.
by Keon roucinwj October 6, 2016
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