Brightest tool in the shed

When someone fucks up ither telling someone they arent the sharpest tool in the shed or the brightest lightbulb in the box

Stupid Ass Friend: Hey, you're not the brightest tool in the shed are you! LOL
Me: Stupid fuck

by Josh Jeffery May 28, 2007

Tool

An individual who behaves in their own self interest rather than adhering to a set of beliefs or morals. Someone who will act as though to seek approval on the outside, but is actually quite vain and selfish. Men of this variety tend to cheat on their girlfriends. Women tend to use men to obtain free drinks.

God, Brett is such a tool.

by redwikiwine September 9, 2009

toolbaggery

The extreme or unnecessary display of one's misperceived ability to impress.

Me: Did you see that kid rip his shirt off when he got mad at Sarah?

Marc: Yeah, that was some serious toolbaggery!

by terv February 12, 2007

toolgasm

One of the greatest feelings a human being can experience. A toolgasm is caused when someone or a group of people is/are listening to music created by the Los Angeles based band 'Tool'. The toolgasm usually occurs at the climax of a song. Some causes of toolgasms have been listed below. A toolgasm is extremely similar to an orgasm, but with no fluids as a result. So in a sense, it is a cleaner orgasm.

Several causes of toolgasms:

4 min. 18 sec. into the song Stinkfist:.

6 min. 35 sec. into the song Eulogy.

6 min. 12 sec. into the song Ticks and Leeches

7 min. 20 sec. into the song Lateralus

by stooze December 21, 2008

toolbag

An individual whose ineptitude, idiocy, and lack of personal hygiene sets them far above and beyond a mere "tool"...only a full "bag of tools" is sufficient to describe their personal defects.

"That Doug....what a toolbag."

by Greg May 25, 2004

thunder mug tool kit

What every toilet should have to ensure a confident and successful shit.Beside the basic toilet brush and commode plunger,a hatchet for chopping megaturds into flushable units,a pair of bar-b-que tongs for unjamming toilet paper clogs and at least one elbow length rubber glove for retrieving cell phones and wallets accidentally dropped in the toxic soup.A pair of grass clippers also comes in handy for snipping off stalled turds that come halfway out and stop and are too dense to be pinched off by sphincter action alone.

I keep my thunder mug tool kit in a bucket right beside the toilet.

by wolfbait51 June 7, 2011

Twilight Tool

The 16 to 18 year old girl or gay man who had no idea what Twilight was until they saw the big hype over the upcoming movie.

The person generally went to go see the midnight showing of the movie without reading the books, and the next day went to the mall to buy half off Twilight apparel at 'Hot Topic.'

After these events, the person will go to 'Barnes and Noble' purchase a cappuccino, buy the twilight books, carry them around their high school, and pretend they are a vampire.

"Hey John, do you see Jenni over there with her brand new Twilight books?"

"Yeah, they still have the price sticker on them, what a 'Twilight Tool'"

by Zachary M. McComb January 22, 2009