Jared 

An annoying asshole. He doesn't get laid and gets sucked off by men named Kohjiro. A person that says he is down to fuck his cousins and has a micro peen.

Jared is an ugly bastard, and he ate Kohjiros asshole when they had a sleepover in a cardboard box on the street.

Jared by eufefuefueeunfeufneufneuf November 28, 2021

Jared 

Noun: a person or people with the name Jared varying from short to tell hot and ugly straight and gay no real way to describe a Jared but weird

Guy: "I heard Jared hit his head on the ceiling while jumping"
Girl:"that's Jared alright"

Jared by the real J July 22, 2011

Jared 

Slang for a child molester. Came from Jared Fogle, that subway guy who ended up being a pedophile.

"Hey man, did you hear about that dude?"
"Yeah dude, he was a Jared."

Jared by georgiasmalls April 20, 2016

Jared 

Another name for Fagget/good Friend

Jared from Salinas California

Jared by Kalaokalani April 26, 2008

Jared 

A man or woman (no one really knows) whose hair smells of shit. He/She is very short and tends to have a high pitched voice. Jared sucks at sports so he/she resorts to drama. Jared sits at home all day and reads because he/she has no life.

Guy: Did you see that jared over there?
Other Guy: Yeah what a faggot. I hate him!

Jared by WienerMaster3000 August 16, 2010

jared 

(verb) the swift concentrated motion of any elongated object back and forth, in and out of the mouth. While jareding, the person tends to use the hands, with the assistance of saliva, in order to keep a steady pace and safe motion going. Jareding is commonly brought up in gay men, due to their tendencies to suck on each others penis's.

Mr. O'Brien bragged openly: "I jared the best, and I hate leaving messes! I always make sure to finish it off"

jared by Brotha Lynch Hung of the LNHN June 13, 2009

Jared 

Jared; or one who plans poorly or has poor planning. Jared could also be described as ; (fake as fuck) or ; capable of doing things that could be described as huge

Hey man did you hear Jared planned that big thing then bailed. That was HUGE... What a bailmaster!

Jared by Funktastic611 September 3, 2016