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Maritime Goggles

A condition that occurs when a cadet is at New York Maritime College for too long, resualting in an illision that makes females more attractive than they really are. Similar to beer goggles, the two should never be combined in an unsafe area. The effects of the combination of the two are catastrophic, often resaulting in massive quantities of shame and ridicule by peers. There is, in fact, an equation that describes the potency of Maritime Goggles, h+(.15w)=mgh, with h being equal to the initial hotness of the chick, w being equal to the number of consecutive weeks a cadet is stuck on campus )whithout being off campus for a span of >1week), and mgh being equal to the maritime goggle hotness, or the final hotness of the chick.
Maritime Cadet: "Wow, look at that hottie in the mini-skirt!"
Normal Dude: "Uh, bro, she's no better than a 6."
Maritime Cadet: "Damn maritime goggles again, ive been stuck there too long."

if a girl is a 6 to one uneffected by maritime goggles, and is seen afer a cadet has been stuck on campus for 7 weeks, then she is now a 7.05 under maritime goggles, because 6+(.15*7)=7.05. The mgh potancy factor would be 1.05
by MSA6219 October 2, 2009
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Gogurt

The last stage of male masturbation where one pinches starting from the base of the shaft upward squeezing out any leftover semen. This is a necessary step as it helps significantly with after cum.
You: Fuck man I totally just got rekt by an undesirable amount of after cum
Friend: Well did you Gogurt?
You: ... Shit... no I completely forgot
Friend: Well there's your problem my friend, you gotta GoGURT or go home
by I_Gogurt January 8, 2015
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Related Words
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FUMA goggles

The barrier that the students of all-male school, Fork Union Military Academy, face when returning for leave. This unfortunate condition makes the obviously unattractive women look like supermodels.
Rob: OMFG! Look at that hottie!
Cynthia: Ew, she's like 90 years old!
Jeff: Dude, take off your FUMA goggles.
by prittyxschmidty April 28, 2008
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everclear goggles

A form of distorted judgement far greater than beer goggles.
If beer goggles cause you to have sex with a less-than-attractive person, EVERCLEAR goggles would cause you to have sex with a dead animal.
Bob humped that frozen turkey for like three hours. He's wearing the everclear goggles again!
by 20th century dude November 26, 2007
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Baby Goggles

A phenomenon where the parents of an ugly baby think their baby is adorable and no one else does.
Nancy: Here's our little bundle of joy! Isn't she just the cutest thing ever?!?
Lisa & Kate (after one look at Nancy's ugly baby): Ohhhh...! Yessss....
Lisa to Kate: I think Nancy has baby goggles - that's got to be the ugliest baby I've ever seen!
by Wine Chick December 16, 2008
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goguardian

shitty school extension that invades students privacy
why did it exist i the first place tho? they shouldve set their marketing to "invade students privacy" or something like that. Im scared that my teacher can see my browsing history, yt vids i watch, and all of those nasty stuff. im really thinking of using my pc because of that, and take control on what they are invading. just for laughs but i might hack their mainframe because ik a little bit of batch coding. but one thing thats keep triggering my BS alarm is the fact they can see everything your searching, then if your searching "stuff" goguardian is going to buzz the "WTF ARE YOU SEARCHING EAT THIS BARRIER B***H" block screen. after that its going to make log info then send it to the it and admins. how do i know that? ITS BECAUSE I DECOMPILED IT AND SAW THE CODE FUNCTIONS AND THE CODE ITSELF. they didnt even did a good job making goguardian. one time i used a chromebook exploit to corrupt the extension and "disable" it for the next 6-8 months. too bad it got patched.
by Plainspup March 19, 2021
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butt goggles

When a woman and man perform 69 on each other. Preferably the man is on bottom and can't see anything due to the fact of the woman's ass being in his face.
Man 1: Yeah, so me and Debbie got it on last night
Man 2: Sweet dude, you didn't put on the butt goggles did you?
Man 1: Yeah.. for a little while, i couldn't see shit
by AnonymousAssDude February 19, 2009
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