Carpenter's Revenge

The act of forcibly inserting a hammer into the anus of an opponent. In optimal conditions, the blunt end and nail-extraction apparatus will both achieve penetration, however, any portion of the hammer enterring the rectum is sufficient. At this point, the executor of the Carpenter's Revenge will procede to rotate the hammer in a circular motion, inflicting serious damage (and/or pleasure) to the anal walls.

1. Holy shit! Bob the Builder went to town on Pedro's anus with the Carpenter's Revenge.
2. Oh my God! Jesus is back, and he's executing the Carpenter's Revenge on the anus of humanity.

by Keegan K August 23, 2007

calender-cock

when a person, usually male, divides his penis into 12 equal segments and labels them with the months of the year, starting with January at the tip. Each year that passes, the calender cock will be given a sacrificial virgin with a particularly tight minge. The calender cock must perform intercourse with said virgin once a day, thus gradually increasing the threshold for cock at the rate of 1 segment per month. some larger calender cocks can have the accuracy of weeks or in some extreme cases even to the day

Steve: Hey man, what month is it?

Delroy: I dunno lid ask the calender-cock innit

Steve: Hey Jauquim, what month is it?

Jauquim: September

Steve: Sweet!

by BradenBirk June 20, 2009

Cartelier

The most awesome last name anyone can have

The Cartelier family is the best

by noahmoneykiller May 11, 2022

carpenter job

when you get a rusty nail full of tetanus and cram it down your urethra with a hammer.

dude, i just gave myself the most gnarly carpenter job over with a sledge-hammer.

by reidilydeidily March 24, 2010

cartherder

Someone who is contracted by a supermarket to hunt down stray carts that are taken out of the property of the supermarket & into the neighborhood & round up the carts & return the carts back to the supermarkets.

The cartherder's here with another load of carts!

by BruinKiller3469 March 26, 2009

calendergasm

Its when the time/date show the same number/s in each field.

*Woot, in before Tom!*

the ninth second of the ninth minute of the ninth hour of the ninth day of the ninth month of 2009

calendergasm'ed would be

09/09/09/09/09/09

by CarlTomTristan September 9, 2009

Carpenters Bukkake

Stemming from ancient Nordic boatbuilding times, this traditional hazing ritual has been rebirthed in the extended modern woodworking community and is still revered as a right of passage in this noblest of trades

An appreciative apprentice kneels within a standing circle of their peers, where as a true sign of respect, proceed to masturbate furiously over the face of "the chosen one".

Once the youngling has been supremely coated, this is directly followed by a large battering of sawdust to aid the curing process.

An important step is to have Rick Astley play in the background.

The pupil now becomes the plastered master

A-Boy: The new guys really coming into his own, how long has he been here for?
B-Boy: I remember his first day, has to be about three years now
C-Boy: Oh boy, looks like he's prime for a Carpenters Bukkake, I'll grab the lube and dust
A-Boy: (singing) never gonna, never gonna, never gonna...
B-Boy: Kneel child, it's time for us to pay our respects
D-Boy: Thanks guys, it's such an honou……(muffled gargle)

by The phantom tanner March 11, 2019