calender-cock 

when a person, usually male, divides his penis into 12 equal segments and labels them with the months of the year, starting with January at the tip. Each year that passes, the calender cock will be given a sacrificial virgin with a particularly tight minge. The calender cock must perform intercourse with said virgin once a day, thus gradually increasing the threshold for cock at the rate of 1 segment per month. some larger calender cocks can have the accuracy of weeks or in some extreme cases even to the day

Steve: Hey man, what month is it?

Delroy: I dunno lid ask the calender-cock innit

Steve: Hey Jauquim, what month is it?

Jauquim: September

Steve: Sweet!

calender-cock by BradenBirk June 20, 2009

The Cock Calendar 

The calendar for people who can't survive No Nut November

Jump Bones January
Four Finger February
Masturbation March

Anal April

Mating May

Jack off June
Juicy July

Asshole August
Sex September
Oral October
Nut November
Dick December

"Liah it's No Nut November :("
"Not according to The Cock Calendar it isn't ;))"
"Cock calendar?"
"A glorious calendar made by @bri_loves_badgers and @_stonecoldcrazy_ on instagram"

The Cock Calendar by ClinkClinkBitch November 2, 2019