Here are some jokes from Larry the Cable Guy
"I was sniffing around at Victoria's Secret the other day. I was like a retard at a chucky cheese. Guess what they have. Underbritches with holes in the crotches. These things sell for 15 bucks. I'm sitting on a dwarful of those worth 250 bucks at home"
"They now have something called eatin' britches. I bought five pairs for my girlfriend and ate a couple on the way to her house. If they made biscuits and gravy flavored, I'd get fat just off that"
"I beleive if I was paid a dollar for every time my dad said he loved me...Well, money isn't important now"
"They say cellphones put microwaves in your body. This guy used one and pooped out a hot pocket"
"If you don't think that's funny, get the hell out of here"
"I have a deaf brother. He also has teret syndrome, so he's all like *makes nasty hand gestures*"
"My girlfriend read a hog hunter magazine and said 'Why don't you trim you're private areas, that'll look sexy.' Oh no, I said. An hour later I have razor bumps and toilet paper squares all over my balls"
"My grandma was in a farting contest..."
"GitRdone"
"I was sniffing around at Victoria's Secret the other day. I was like a retard at a chucky cheese. Guess what they have. Underbritches with holes in the crotches. These things sell for 15 bucks. I'm sitting on a dwarful of those worth 250 bucks at home"
"They now have something called eatin' britches. I bought five pairs for my girlfriend and ate a couple on the way to her house. If they made biscuits and gravy flavored, I'd get fat just off that"
"I beleive if I was paid a dollar for every time my dad said he loved me...Well, money isn't important now"
"They say cellphones put microwaves in your body. This guy used one and pooped out a hot pocket"
"If you don't think that's funny, get the hell out of here"
"I have a deaf brother. He also has teret syndrome, so he's all like *makes nasty hand gestures*"
"My girlfriend read a hog hunter magazine and said 'Why don't you trim you're private areas, that'll look sexy.' Oh no, I said. An hour later I have razor bumps and toilet paper squares all over my balls"
"My grandma was in a farting contest..."
"GitRdone"
Larry the Cable Guy bought a fart machine at the mall, used it everywhere, and gave it to his grandma for his birthday
by KaiserBasara December 28, 2005
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CaBallin’
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A term Tiger Woods himself made up honoring his mother as well as his father and all of his cultural heritage. Tiger is far ahead of his time in asserting that he does not need to deny any part of who he is or where he came from to satisfy others need for him to think and act a certain way just because of the color of his skin. He has received extended criticism from apartheidists that believe that the world should be 'seperate but equal' and not beautifully intertwined.
No doubt Tiger never forgot about the time when they didn't allow him on the course in Georgia because he was black, he just did not allow it to prevent him from honoring his mother, and his grandparents as well as his father. Tiger did not hang up his clubs when he faced adversity in Georgia and instead of giving up in the face of criticism and adversity Tiger has continued to prevent the world from defining for him what he can and cannot do, and what is and is not appropriate behavior for a person with his pigmentation. Tiger woods is the future.
No doubt Tiger never forgot about the time when they didn't allow him on the course in Georgia because he was black, he just did not allow it to prevent him from honoring his mother, and his grandparents as well as his father. Tiger did not hang up his clubs when he faced adversity in Georgia and instead of giving up in the face of criticism and adversity Tiger has continued to prevent the world from defining for him what he can and cannot do, and what is and is not appropriate behavior for a person with his pigmentation. Tiger woods is the future.
Tiger woods is a cablinasian and not who you or I would like to tell him he should be. He invented the term to describe who he is and where he came from. He knows that it is not important for you understand what he means, as long as he does.
by behenderson January 2, 2009
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