My Covida

The person you chose to spend the lockdown period with.

1) After the lockdown, I decided to marry My Covida as we never rowed, and the sex just got better.

2) My Covida drove me mad for the last three months, and as soon as the lockdown ended, I kicked her out the house!

by Sonny Saint June 26, 2020

Lowest Covid Denominator

Collectively, people who are the perpetrators of spreading covid and ruining it for the largest possible number of people

Well, here we go, another lockdown, the lowest covid denominator is why we can't have nice things.

LCD sounds like a mental disease...

by not a gman July 13, 2020

Light Covid

When you cough or sneeze during covid-19 pandemic and immediately think you must have covid but with very light symptoms. And you continue your life being almost sure you had it already but that it didn't brought you down.

- "cough cough"

- I think i have Light Covid..

by CactusClay July 27, 2020

Asymptomatic COVID

Carrying infection (the COVID virus) without symptoms of illness.

DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are asymptomatic COVID carrier.

ME: Whaat, bruh? Naw, I feel good! I ain’t infected! What am I infected with?
DOCTOR: COVID, the test was for COVID. You are infected. With the COVID virus.

ME: That’s some bullshit! That ain’t me! I’m good, baby! 100% Beastmode!!
DOCTOR: Sorry sir, but the tests are accurate. You are an asymptomatic COVID carrier and you are at risk of infecting others.

ME: you ain't hearing me? Beast-fuckin’-Mode!

DOCTOR: You’ll need to quarantine yourself and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the spread of COVID.
ME: Quara-what? Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! You want me to die? Thought you was a doctor?!
DOCTOR: MmmKay. Sir. If I may...?

1) stop being a little bitch.

2) think about others you might infect.

3) wear your fucking mask, you bitchass fucktard.

4) Where my copay at, son???

ME: It’s just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati)…fucking masks…
DOCTOR: Oh, and the mask covers you mouth AND YOUR NOSE. Because the COVID virus is up in your nose. So cover your fucking nose, Captain Beastmode. Stethoscope droppppp!!

by Magic Brain Pills September 6, 2020

Presidential Covid

When someone claims to have covid-19 yet does not reveal much information on their exact physical condition. They are only ill for a few days and then claim to be back to normal which makes one question if they had the virus at all.

Chad called in sick Monday and said he had coronavirus. By Wednesday he was out drinking with the guys again. He had presidential covid.

by Randi Newton October 11, 2020

The Covid Test

Where by some drops an absolute stinker and you can either smell it or you can’t, meaning if you can smell it, you don’t have COVID.

“I’ve just farted and it’s awful, if you have 2 sniff of that, you’re a greedy bastard” “I can’t smell anything” you need to go for the Covid test then!

by dylanscott93 November 17, 2020

Home COVID Test

Farting right next to a person you live with and not telling them to see if they still have their sense of smell.

My wife just gave me a Home COVID Test and I passed.

by AnctRome November 25, 2020