Jesus crap!

1. A corruption of the phrase "Jesus Christ!"
2. An exclamation usually used after one had been owned.
3. Said after an incredible event/an event thought to never occur.

"Jesus crap!" may be used in the same manner as Sweet Jesus, but only sparingly.

"Dude, Golden Corral burnt down yesterday."
"Jesus crap!"

"Jesus crap! They got friggin' owned!"

by T3GM January 8, 2009

Jesus fishing

vi. The act of attempting to lure people into one's belief system by evangelizing or proselytizing. E.g. a Mac user trying to convert a PC user.

Jim is such a big fan of the iphone that he cannot resist Jesus fishing whenever he knows he among a bunch of Blackberry users.

by Seb13 February 26, 2009

Double Jesus

When two bearded human males cut a square shaped section off from each others buttocks cheeks and place them into an empty wine glass, then proceed to urinate into said wine glass at the same time. In this process, the urine will begin to resemble wine in coloration due to the blood escaping from the cut off portions of flesh. Once they have completed urination, they then pour the concoction over each others heads as they masturbate furiously into a collection plate like those found in Catholic churches while screaming "Praise me" loud enough for all of their neighbors to hear. This is a Double Jesus.

Tom Cruise: Hey Chuck, did ya catch the latest episode of Breaking Bad last night?
Chuck Norris: Naw, I was too busy doing the Double Jesus with Zach Galifianakis.
Tom Cruise: Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis?
Chuck Norris: Can you bail me out homie?

by PenetrationStation December 19, 2014

Jesus cock

A penis that has been through so many beatings and scabs and Unprotection and punishment but to true people mostly women know the true orgasmic prosperity of this penis it is like no other crucified so that it may rise again it is the perfect cock causing true worship towards this penis

I am forever endowed to dominic Jesus cock

by Who’s hunting whom September 11, 2020

Mach Jesus

Something traveling well above the "reasonable speed" that it should be

Me and my buddy were traveling Mach Jesus down the back roads on a beer run last night

by SomeRedneck69 June 10, 2021

Jesus Juice

Well Its basically..Kahlula, Vodka, Rum, Whisky, Rye, and Sprite with a lil bit of orange pop. Devon My brah made it up and its pretty awesome we get crunked off of it all the time Good times on May long man

Jesus Juice The ultimate drinkIt all took place on may long and it doesnt give you too bad of a hang over/. no it actually goes we drank like 3 pitchers of water after that

by Denholm(AKADavid) December 28, 2005

Purple Jesus

A drink made by squeezing concentrated grape juice down the neck of a fifth or a quart of cheap vodka. Shake, serve, and drink: preferably on a levee river bank. This drink has been known in the San Joaquin Valley of Northern California for over fifty years and is rumored to be from the hobo camps: a tramp cocktail not for amateurs.

My first alcoholic drink was a paper cup filled to the brim with Purple Jesus.

by St. Charles September 5, 2009