Jesus Christ

A fictional character from the Imagination Land episodes of South Park. Who, inadvertently, is quite the sharp-shooter with an M16.

Jesus Christ killed all the bad imaginary people with his M16.

by Scoggins February 28, 2010

Jesus Freak

1.) Someone willing to lay everything down for Jesus
2.) A person who is not afraid, by any means, to publicly profess to anyone that they love Jesus Christ.
3.) Being who is not ashamed to be persecuted for the Lord that they believe in.

I don't really care if they label me a Jesus Freak, because you can't disquise the truth.

by Raina March 8, 2005

Jesus Christ

The main character in the fiction story "The Bible". Portrayed by Jim Caviezel in the movie version.

Person 1- Dude, I just read The Bible. That Jesus Christ guy was kick ass. If only that was real...
Christian Asshole- It was real, he died for all of our sins.
Person 1- I bet you expect me to believe he turned water into wine too and healed people by 'miracles'. You're such a joker :D
(Christian Asshole walks away to go to church like a bitch instead of watching the Ravens vs Steelers)

by Joe Balls69 June 29, 2011

Jesus Is the Answer

A seemingly naive or simplistic solution to one's life problems that Jesus can make the impossible possible—a crazy idea to the cynical or skeptical nonbeliever.

Be it in health, relationships, career, or finances, one can expect a breakthrough if one believes that Jesus is more than willing to turn one's life around—this is why Jesus is the answer to all of one's life's problems.

by MathPlus January 22, 2017

Jesus Virus

A virus you can get from a porn site. Because Jesus does not want you looking at porn.

13 year old kid: Man, I got a jesus Virus the other day.
Other person: Did your parents find out?
13 yr old kid: Nah I have a porn eraser.

by TheNewJTM1 July 20, 2009

Jesus Hand

When you have a sore in the middle of your hand. Either from a blister or a cut, in place where jesus got nailed to the cross.

'man all this screwing has given me a jesus hand'.

by thebubbler June 12, 2011

Jesus-food

Noun. This phrase was coined to describe really really really attractive females, because even Jesus would take a bite out of that.

Guy #1: Dude, did you see that girl over there? She's Jesus-food.
Guy #2: Oh yea, dude. She's totally Jesus-food.

*This phrase was coined by accident. I was describing my girlfriend to my friend Jeff. I said, "She's beautiful," and he thought I said Jesus-food. I then stated that from now on, any hot girl should be referred to as Jesus-food.

by Jackson C. June 20, 2006