sick joke

Jimmy Mcgill getting to be a lawyer

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! *He* orchestrated it! Jimmy! He *defecated* through a *sunroof*! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I *thinking*? He'll never change. He'll *never* change! Ever since he was 9, *always* the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! "But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious *Jimmy*!" Stealing them blind! And *HE* gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!

by YK Woozie January 21, 2024

no joke

letting the audience know that something is in fact, deadly serious and not to be taken lightly. a couple of words typically can be ridden over, trotted on, largely ignored, but no joke lets you know that this is time to pay attention and bring out your notepad

I'd love to grab lunch but I just checked their menu and their prices are no joke. $32 for enchiladas, are you serious

by Chris from Vancouver January 27, 2024

Grant jokes

A dad joke but much much cooler

"Road work ahead, I sure hope it does" is an example of a grant jokes

by Expertbacon February 3, 2024

Mariya Joke

A joke that is painfully unfunny to everyone and makes you cringe thinking about.

*Mariya pretends to stab you with a knife and laughs about it*
“Is that another Mariya Joke?…Hahaha😐”

by Theodore Raz February 3, 2024

Breast Joke

When your wife wakes you up by putting her tits in your face 👀

That was the breast Joke. You really milked that.

by Madame Frog April 3, 2023

Joke

Hey some guy said I have good timing.

Hym "You need to actually try to compartmentalize a little bit. You're not going to but whatever. The fact of the matter is this: the thing I said is happening is happening. I don't give a fuck about your kids. In your hierarchy of values, putting me in a position where I am either caged or I have my rights taken away is more important to you than whether or not I harm a kid. And the harm I was talking about previously was abstract harm caused by reading about sex or violence or the hybrid of the two in direct reference. I haven't been charged with any crimes. Never committed an act of violence. There is no line. There is a lot you have to ignore to try and draw a parallel between him and me and that's really all you're doing isn't it? And that's all you plan on doing. You are not the self appointed moral arbiters you seem to think you are and I can prove it by doing the thing you want to pretend you're trying to stop me from doing. This is in response to something that has been happening for years. And that thung is justification enough for worse than what I'm currently doing. And I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. It's a joke and it's not. Like the midget from that south park episode. You need to just let it go."

by Hym Iam April 4, 2023

Great Grandpa Joke

A joke that’s even more original and predictable than a dad joke.

Person A: Why was the crab being so mean?
Person B: Why?
Person A: Because it was feeling crabby!
Person B: Ugh... Enough with the great grandpa jokes.

by Dray’s Dictionary April 14, 2023