Jesus Christ 

Not only is he the dude who mows my lawn, he is the world's most popular imaginary friend! Second only to Barney and Santa of course. But he is way too far out of their league to even be compared.

When Jesus Christ goes home from mowing my lawn, he gives Santa and Barney the old Mormon Fistbump.

Jesus Christ by Why do I have a t-shirt cannon January 14, 2011

Jesus Christ 

Jesus Christ is an imaginary person. He is also the main character of God's best-selling fictional book "The Bible".

Unfortunately, many cult members beleive Jesus Christ to be alive today, even though that would make him 2009 years old. Many cult members also beleive that Jesus Christ has magical powers; including, telepathy, teleportation, and telekinesis, among others.

person A : "Hey! I read this great book the other day! In it, some guy called Jesus Christ did all this crazy stuff! He can read my prayers and teleport!"

Person B : "Do you realise that Jesus Christ is a fictional person, and can't actually do all of the things he says he can?"

Jesus Christ by Jonathon Harker April 1, 2009

Jesus Child 

is a manufactured person, someone that is acting like someone they're not. Since Jesus Christ had no children, calling someone a Jesus Child is referring to them as a fake.

"You ask me to change who I am for you, but when YOU look in the mirror you're just a Jesus Child."

Jesus Child by Big Brother D July 23, 2009

Jesus Girl 

A Jesus girl is someone who likes to stare (maddog) at her coworkers. A girl who supposeably follows the law and rules of Jesus. Some who attends church religiously.

Jesus Girl at Ikon, Enuff said.

Jesus Girl by E-40 October 19, 2006

Jesus Freak 

People who claim to be christian, but are, in reality, attatched to an image of a man who, if he were alive today, would be committed to a mental hospital for claiming to be the son of God.

A group who would rather put tacky fish emblems on their car, instead of read the book that is supposedly their be all end all.

People who claim to know more about the world because of their relationship with someone they know nothing about.

People obsessed with an image of piety, rather than actually being pious.

Christians are ok, it's the Jesus Freaks that ruin things.

The stupid Jesus Freaks gave me another damn pamphlet.

I don't care if the Jesus Freaks think I'm going to hell, they're all idiots.

Jesus Freak by CocoChannelonFOX April 17, 2011

Jesus Jerk 

Someone who pushes their religion off on other people because they find theirs to be superior.

Jon: Anyone who doesn't believe in Christ our Savior will be banished to hell forever!!!!

Tom: Wow, Jon's a real Jesus Jerk.

Jesus Jerk by rockrangel January 13, 2011

jesus rock 

Shitty, popcore "rock" "music," performed by marginally talented "musicians," for the purposes of:

1) Propagating skewed and fundamentalist beliefs to the ignorant and uninitiated;

2) Making shitloads of money

Yuppie Christian apologist shitheads force their halftarded children to listen to jesus rock in lieu of spending time with them.

jesus rock by c0q_m1x3r July 13, 2004