Optical Rectalitis

Where your head is so far up your ass you have a shitty outlook on life.

With his recent string of bad luck, Richard suffers from an acute case of Optical Rectalitis.

by awesumwordster January 25, 2012

Optometrist

My dream job. All the optometrists I know are badasses that look at eyes all day. They improve people's vision on the daily, prescribe glasses and contacts, look at the back of the eye and detect illnesses from retinal detachments to Diabetes to brain tumors. They pick the most long-lasting, least invasive medical treatments first and only refer for surgery if necessary. I have a great optometrist. He pretty much saved my life.

Optometrists make really good money and have the lowest divorce rate of all occupations. I'd become one if it didn't take 8+ years of school and only about 1 in 8 applicants are accepted into the 22 US schools :/

"Hey man, I thought you had a lazy eye?"

"Got 'er fixed by the optometrist. It's never coming back. He was pretty hot, too."

by jaysway August 27, 2013

Pessimistic Optimist

It has many meanings such like :
- taking a precaution to prevent a near death experience
- level of optimism
- they see the cup as nor half full or half empty as to them it is constantly filling whilst constantly emptying
- for a good thing to happen a bad must follow and vice versa

our everyday lives are contributed to by pessimists, optimists and pessimistic optimists. An example of this is that : the optimists invent the aeroplane (great invention defies gravity and stuff), then the pessimists come along and think “no I don’t like that” so they come up with the parachute. Hey presto two great inventions one from a hopeful lunatic and one paranoid hopeful. You have the plane but how about the glider? Once again the optimists make them and such the pessimists the parachute. Now who tests it? The pessimist won’t yet as the optimist trusts his handiwork to much he want to go without any safety so the pessimist stops him. Now no one’s testing it. “I know” they think and they go fetch Dave from the local cafe. Everyone say hi Dave...Now Dave is s pessimistic optimist and he loves the idea of just gliding down to earth however he doesn’t want to die if it goes wrong so he takes the pessimist’s parachute. This is one definition of a pessimistic optimist: taking a precaution to prevent death or severe pain.

by camacam2 July 13, 2010

optimo

Brand of cigar used for rolling a fat blunt with the potentiol of burning for an hour or more. Is a actual tobacco leaf.

You can catch me chillin' in the club steaming a optimo, with my dick getting sucked by a dime hoe.

by LoneStarSteve7 January 21, 2005

False optimist

Somebody that keeps trying to tell you it's all good between you and them (despite every indication to the contrary) or that you've forgiven and forgotten everything on their end, even though you're not forgiving or senile by nature.

The real cynics are the ones that seem to think everything is okay with everybody all the time, or that everything will be okay, so people shouldn't worry. That is false optimism, and people (a false optimist) who think that way are not good liars.

by The Original Agahnim August 31, 2021

False optimist

People that are realistic about life might not make good liars either, but at least they don't put up a paper thin facade of being optimists where there is no good reason to be optimistic about something or someone.

A false optimist is the most negative kind of person around beneath the surface, but what's on the surface is everything to someone like that. What they have to show others for something is everything, even though it's phony.

by The Original Agahnim August 31, 2021

Best Boyfriend (Homo optimus)

A lovely boyfriend that embodies all that is good in the world.

Emily: "Holy gosh, you are the best boyfriend! If I were to give you a specific scientific title, it would definitely be Homo optimus!"

Best Boyfriend (Homo optimus)

by Evelyn Noah August 22, 2011